FIC: Home Again
Dec. 14th, 2010 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nilchanceTitle: Home Again
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nilchance
Pairing: Gen.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Set after "Jeff". Alex has visitors while Jeff's not home.
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the series in any way. It belongs, presumably, to Vince, Jeff and Evan.
Warnings: There's a somewhat disgusting reference to Eraserhead.
Evan and Vince come over to check out Jeff's room. It's kind of nice, having them in the house, but Alex's brain is already three steps ahead the whole time they're there: calling Jeff again, laying elaborate plans for prank revenge when Jeff gets back, doing his math homework. Unfortunately, his teacher won't take an excuse like 'sorry, my paranoid brother skipped town to look for his girlfriend who probably just dumped him' for not doing problems 44-48.
As they're leaving, after the camera's turned off, Vince stops. He says to Evan, who's busy giving Sparky thorough goodbye ear tugs, "Hold up a second, man."
Evan exchanges a look with Vince, and gives him a thumb-up. Alex wonders about that sometimes, the way Evan and Jeff and Vince fit together like Tetris tiles. There's never been anybody that could look at Alex and know what he was thinking, aside from Jeff when they were younger, before the accident--
Don't think about that, he tells himself, and switches tracks. His fingers sketch out bass chords, small gestures, nothing anybody could catch and notice. It's important that people not notice.
"Who's a fangirl?" Evan is crooning at Sparky, who's rolled over to show him her belly. "Yes, you are. Spread your legs!"
"Stop molesting my dog," Alex tells him, and Evan snickers.
Vince looks awkward, then stubborn. "Look. You want to come and crash at my place for a while? Until Jeff comes back."
There's something about the way Vince says it, like he doesn't think it's a sure bet. Like maybe Jeff's going to get eaten by a zombie or hit by a car or just decide that he wants to stay gone, and thinking about that makes Alex's stomach feel as crumpled as an empty bag. He shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn't say anything, trying to look squared off and adult. Sometimes he doesn't remember, and sometimes he does, and sometimes he pretends they're not dead, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his shit together. Jeff must think so, too.
Apparently puffing up doesn't work, because Vince adds, gentle like Alex is still some 14 year old kid in a funeral suit, "My folks won't mind."
"Mine might," Alex says, because he knows that'll shut down the conversation, because he's not above cheating when he has to.
Vince looks at him, all sad-eyed, but he doesn't argue. Inertia wins again. "Okay, dude. You can call if they change their mind."
"They won't," Alex replies, meaning I won't, because if he goes to Vince's house he's probably never coming home again, because social services would stroke out, because Vince's folks might not mind a kid but they'd probably mind an old crazy dog with a bad bladder and damned if he's leaving Sparky alone. "You know what they're like."
"Yeah, I know," Vince agrees.
When they're gone, the house is quiet. Alex locks the door behind them, then leans against it. Sparky wags up at him.
"Just you and me, girl," Alex tells her, and goes to get both their dinners out of a can.
***
He forgets his parents are dead after dinner.
He remembers before bed, so it's okay.
Sometimes he worries that he won't remember ever again, and that somebody will lock him up for being crazy, and now Jeff's not at the hospital anymore to hack records and get him out like he said he would if it ever happened.
Sometimes he worries that he won't forget ever again, and he'll never hear his mom's laugh anymore even if it's in his whackjob delusions.
He doesn't know which is worse.
***
The third day Jeff's gone is a Friday. Alex goes to school, even though there's nobody at home to bitch him into going, and he can't concentrate past the sinking feeling of a weekend in his house. Nick's going to his mom's house, and his mom's a social worker, so no crashing over there; risk's too high. By the time school lets out, he's resigned himself to long hikes with Sparky and loitering at the mall.
Then Evan meets him at the parking lot. Alex knows it's Evan because of the Iron Maiden, and because Evan nearly runs him over as he's stepping off the curb.
"Jesus Christ, this place is fucking depressing!" Evan yells out his window. "Get in, dude, before anybody decides I'm trolling for jailbait."
"You're not?" Alex asks, but he's already reaching for the door handle. Evan does that jerk brother move of letting off the brake as Alex is trying to climb in, which Jeff outgrew years ago, but seriously, fuck Jeff anyway.
"That's not the way to talk to somebody who brought you all one hundred movies featured in Bravo's scariest movie moments," Evan says. "I illegally downloaded them and risked landing my virgin ass in prison all for you. Mostly so we can talk about what a pussy Eli Roth is about real horror."
Alex pauses, hanging onto the roof of Evan's car, only one leg inside. "... you're not making me watch freaking Cape Fear."
"No. Your hipster horror cred will be untainted." When Alex doesn't move, Evan reaches into the back seat and snags a disc, which he dangles. "I'll make roasted chicken and we can watch Eraserhead?"
Alex gets in the car.
***
Alex wakes up on the couch, a musty afghan thrown over him. The TV's gone to static, and there's no sign of Evan. The next movie on the list, His back hurts from being jammed against the metal frame, but Sparky is sleeping across his feet. She's old, and it's the first peaceful sleep she's had in a while, so he can live with a sore spine. It won't kill him.
He checks his cell phone, still sitting on the coffee table. No messages. He texts fuck u asshole and hits send with unnecessary force.
After a minute, he can hear someone talking, their voice almost smothered by the static. Like they don't want to be overheard. Careful not to disturb Sparky, Alex sits up a little and calls, "Jeff?"
Evan appears in the door to the kitchen. He's back-lit, and Alex can't see his face, but he can tell by Evan's shadow that he's smiling. "No," Evan says. "No Jeff here. Go back to sleep, rabbit. I'll wait up for him."
"Rabbit?" Alex asks, but Evan's disappeared back into the kitchen.
The static keeps on, like it's the end of the world out there. Alex reaches down to Sparky and pets her, wishing that she'd wake up and keep him company, but she's out like a light. He's alone. With Evan, of course, but. That doesn't feel very comforting right now.
Alex picks his phone back up, still warm from his hand, and texts, just come home ok?
He falls back asleep with the phone in one hand. He doesn't hit send.
Author:
nilchancePairing: Gen.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Set after "Jeff". Alex has visitors while Jeff's not home.
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the series in any way. It belongs, presumably, to Vince, Jeff and Evan.
Warnings: There's a somewhat disgusting reference to Eraserhead.
Evan and Vince come over to check out Jeff's room. It's kind of nice, having them in the house, but Alex's brain is already three steps ahead the whole time they're there: calling Jeff again, laying elaborate plans for prank revenge when Jeff gets back, doing his math homework. Unfortunately, his teacher won't take an excuse like 'sorry, my paranoid brother skipped town to look for his girlfriend who probably just dumped him' for not doing problems 44-48.
As they're leaving, after the camera's turned off, Vince stops. He says to Evan, who's busy giving Sparky thorough goodbye ear tugs, "Hold up a second, man."
Evan exchanges a look with Vince, and gives him a thumb-up. Alex wonders about that sometimes, the way Evan and Jeff and Vince fit together like Tetris tiles. There's never been anybody that could look at Alex and know what he was thinking, aside from Jeff when they were younger, before the accident--
Don't think about that, he tells himself, and switches tracks. His fingers sketch out bass chords, small gestures, nothing anybody could catch and notice. It's important that people not notice.
"Who's a fangirl?" Evan is crooning at Sparky, who's rolled over to show him her belly. "Yes, you are. Spread your legs!"
"Stop molesting my dog," Alex tells him, and Evan snickers.
Vince looks awkward, then stubborn. "Look. You want to come and crash at my place for a while? Until Jeff comes back."
There's something about the way Vince says it, like he doesn't think it's a sure bet. Like maybe Jeff's going to get eaten by a zombie or hit by a car or just decide that he wants to stay gone, and thinking about that makes Alex's stomach feel as crumpled as an empty bag. He shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn't say anything, trying to look squared off and adult. Sometimes he doesn't remember, and sometimes he does, and sometimes he pretends they're not dead, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his shit together. Jeff must think so, too.
Apparently puffing up doesn't work, because Vince adds, gentle like Alex is still some 14 year old kid in a funeral suit, "My folks won't mind."
"Mine might," Alex says, because he knows that'll shut down the conversation, because he's not above cheating when he has to.
Vince looks at him, all sad-eyed, but he doesn't argue. Inertia wins again. "Okay, dude. You can call if they change their mind."
"They won't," Alex replies, meaning I won't, because if he goes to Vince's house he's probably never coming home again, because social services would stroke out, because Vince's folks might not mind a kid but they'd probably mind an old crazy dog with a bad bladder and damned if he's leaving Sparky alone. "You know what they're like."
"Yeah, I know," Vince agrees.
When they're gone, the house is quiet. Alex locks the door behind them, then leans against it. Sparky wags up at him.
"Just you and me, girl," Alex tells her, and goes to get both their dinners out of a can.
***
He forgets his parents are dead after dinner.
He remembers before bed, so it's okay.
Sometimes he worries that he won't remember ever again, and that somebody will lock him up for being crazy, and now Jeff's not at the hospital anymore to hack records and get him out like he said he would if it ever happened.
Sometimes he worries that he won't forget ever again, and he'll never hear his mom's laugh anymore even if it's in his whackjob delusions.
He doesn't know which is worse.
***
The third day Jeff's gone is a Friday. Alex goes to school, even though there's nobody at home to bitch him into going, and he can't concentrate past the sinking feeling of a weekend in his house. Nick's going to his mom's house, and his mom's a social worker, so no crashing over there; risk's too high. By the time school lets out, he's resigned himself to long hikes with Sparky and loitering at the mall.
Then Evan meets him at the parking lot. Alex knows it's Evan because of the Iron Maiden, and because Evan nearly runs him over as he's stepping off the curb.
"Jesus Christ, this place is fucking depressing!" Evan yells out his window. "Get in, dude, before anybody decides I'm trolling for jailbait."
"You're not?" Alex asks, but he's already reaching for the door handle. Evan does that jerk brother move of letting off the brake as Alex is trying to climb in, which Jeff outgrew years ago, but seriously, fuck Jeff anyway.
"That's not the way to talk to somebody who brought you all one hundred movies featured in Bravo's scariest movie moments," Evan says. "I illegally downloaded them and risked landing my virgin ass in prison all for you. Mostly so we can talk about what a pussy Eli Roth is about real horror."
Alex pauses, hanging onto the roof of Evan's car, only one leg inside. "... you're not making me watch freaking Cape Fear."
"No. Your hipster horror cred will be untainted." When Alex doesn't move, Evan reaches into the back seat and snags a disc, which he dangles. "I'll make roasted chicken and we can watch Eraserhead?"
Alex gets in the car.
***
Alex wakes up on the couch, a musty afghan thrown over him. The TV's gone to static, and there's no sign of Evan. The next movie on the list, His back hurts from being jammed against the metal frame, but Sparky is sleeping across his feet. She's old, and it's the first peaceful sleep she's had in a while, so he can live with a sore spine. It won't kill him.
He checks his cell phone, still sitting on the coffee table. No messages. He texts fuck u asshole and hits send with unnecessary force.
After a minute, he can hear someone talking, their voice almost smothered by the static. Like they don't want to be overheard. Careful not to disturb Sparky, Alex sits up a little and calls, "Jeff?"
Evan appears in the door to the kitchen. He's back-lit, and Alex can't see his face, but he can tell by Evan's shadow that he's smiling. "No," Evan says. "No Jeff here. Go back to sleep, rabbit. I'll wait up for him."
"Rabbit?" Alex asks, but Evan's disappeared back into the kitchen.
The static keeps on, like it's the end of the world out there. Alex reaches down to Sparky and pets her, wishing that she'd wake up and keep him company, but she's out like a light. He's alone. With Evan, of course, but. That doesn't feel very comforting right now.
Alex picks his phone back up, still warm from his hand, and texts, just come home ok?
He falls back asleep with the phone in one hand. He doesn't hit send.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-12-14 10:54 pm (UTC)He forgets his parents are dead after dinner.
He remembers before bed, so it's okay.
Sometimes he worries that he won't remember ever again, and that somebody will lock him up for being crazy, and now Jeff's not at the hospital anymore to hack records and get him out like he said he would if it ever happened.
Sometimes he worries that he won't forget ever again, and he'll never hear his mom's laugh anymore even if it's in his whackjob delusions.
He doesn't know which is worse.
I have baggage that makes this hit hard. It's old water under the bridge (I'm mostly not going into detail just for the sake of not being Whiny Internet "LOOK AT MY DRAMATIC PROBLEMS!" Troll rather than trauma) and this is just...I want to hug Alex a lot. Despite how much I would look like a child molester doing so.
"Jesus Christ, this place is fucking depressing!" Evan yells out his window. "Get in, dude, before anybody decides I'm trolling for jailbait."
"You're not?" Alex asks, but he's already reaching for the door handle. Evan does that jerk brother move of letting off the brake as Alex is trying to climb in, which Jeff outgrew years ago, but seriously, fuck Jeff anyway.
I almost, almost want to call personal canon that Evan is totally trolling for jailbait. But seriously, that last line here. I so very much love bigbrothertoalex!Evan, bittersweet though it is in this case. (Poor Jeff. Then again, this is during Jeff's phase of "omg jessa qq" which...isn't entirely unjustified but, yeah, you know what I mean. Hopefully.)
Evan appears in the door to the kitchen. He's back-lit, and Alex can't see his face, but he can tell by Evan's shadow that he's smiling. "No," Evan says. "No Jeff here. Go back to sleep, rabbit. I'll wait up for him."
"Rabbit?" Alex asks, but Evan's disappeared back into the kitchen.
This scared me shitless. I actually shivered and had to pause for a second to make sure I wouldn't miss anything. It's funny, I was just watching some Dead Space 2 material and getting psyched up for it and then "o hai thar have some minimalist horror. Necromorphs wut r those."
So awesome, both HABIT's little cameo and the whole thing. (What's particularly amazing is that we're starting to get ourselves a little story pattern of "Evan is amusing -> Evan does something a little profound -> OH MY GOD HABIT" and it has yet to get old. Part of me worries about the fandom getting cookie-cutter and then suddenly it is proven to me it is not yet a problem at all.)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 03:49 am (UTC)Poor Jeff, indeed. It kinda kills me, watching the last u-stream how GOOD Vince and Evan are with Alex (srsly, Evan's sneaky way of getting Alex out of the room to "check on Jeff" was big brother genius) and so I think they were all close before the shit hit the fan, but I also think Alex has a huge hero worship thing going on with Evan now. And yeah, Jeff had every right to his Sad Panda phase.
Man, Dead Space is SCARY, though! And thank you, I was worried that it was too subtle, so I'm glad it worked. And thank you for the excellent comments.
And your comment about patterns made my brain start thinking up stories where it goes backwards. So thank you for that, too!
no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 03:56 am (UTC)::hugs::
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Date: 2010-12-19 10:39 am (UTC)::Makes it a giant group hug for us lost moms group::
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Date: 2010-12-19 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 09:36 pm (UTC)February is always going to be a bad month now, yeah. And the 7th. Every month on the 7th so far, anyway. Ugh.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-20 04:31 am (UTC)::hugs all around::
no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 10:37 am (UTC)Yeah, Alex having Evan Hero Worship is definitely something I consider when writing the two of them in one scene.
And probably part of what makes pairing them so tempting because of course my mind takes everything into the gutter.Yes, yes it is. I remember the first time I played I thought the horror was going to fall flat because the game tells you no less than FIVE TIMES to CUT OFF THEIR LIIIIIMBS and I was like "Okay, guys, having presention issues here, you do not need to repeat the same tutorial message this many times, even if three instances are 'cleverly' worked into the background." And then I got more than ten minutes in and I was like "OH MY FUCK WHAT THE SHIT."
Also, now that I've got the BlazBlue crossover I'm too afraid to post done, I kinda' wanna write a Bioshock crossover where it turns out the Rake is an escaped Splicer. Because it's not freaky enough on its own without being the product of genetic mods run amok.
(I couldn't help but see references that probably weren't intentional in "Alex." Evan is wearing a Bioshock T-Shirt, the Rake skitters around like spider splicers, and Alex's room in a trashed heap looks suspiciously like many places in Rapture after the riots. It's so totally symbolic! My imagination isn't overactive at all!)
Also, if I've given you more plot bunnies, I'm sure I won't be disappointed in the results, so you are quite welcome. >:)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 09:52 pm (UTC)Wait, Vince McMahon did WHAT now? I checked out of wrestling for a bit (from before Hall and Nash were with TNA, if that means anything to you, to around now) and only went to our local league, so I've missed some stuff, but. D:
Yes, yes, I could definitely take the Hero Worship thing into the gutter. *hum*
HABIT made him do it?Okay, your Dead Space reaction reminds me a lot of my reaction to every horror game EVER. "Oh, this is so cheesy, I don't even WHY THE FUCK DID THAT DEADITE JUST COME OUT FROM THERE OMG." I must add that game to my list of things to look for at our used game stores. Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 11:03 pm (UTC)Ah yes, the mind of a typical fanfiction writer does involve the gutter quite a lot
ogod I can totally see either one of Alex's trials being 'try to get into Evan's pants and too bad for you if it ruins your friendship with your hero' or even worse Evan wakes up, realizes he's lost some time again, and wait Alex wtf am I doing in bed with you? The second one could be particularly horrible if Alex is all yay this is the best thing that's ever happened to me wait why is Evan all weirded out now?Yesh, Dead Space is amazing. To elaborate on the silly bit; Necromorphs, unlike normal zombies, barely notice headshots. Their weakness is their arms and legs (or other...appendages, of which there are sometimes many) which actually does make sense in context, and most of Isaac's weapons being industrial grade cutting tools, severing their limbs isn't all that difficult. The designers were quite clearly worried you would not pick up on this, however, because in the first ten minutes of the game, you see that one of the crew's last acts was to scrawl "CUT OFF THEIR LIMBS" in his own blood on the wall, you find a a log from one of the crew long after the fit hit the shan describing how one of the engineers managed to kill one of the things by grabbing a line cutter and chopping off its legs, the guy in charge of Isaac's mission radios him saying "It seems like they're weaker in the arms and legs, try to cut them off," and then, finally, Isaac's environment suit gives him a helpful "TARGET LIMBS TO CAUSE EXTRA DAMAGE" popup. The last one is actually JARRING: Dead Space does not have a tracditional HUD, all relevant information is displayed on Isaac's suit (which is actually in-universe a mechanism for other people an engineer or soldier works with to see someone's status at a glance without relying on verbal reports) but Isaac being an engineer, his RIG should not at all be dispensing combat advice.
But then about two minutes after that you're done with the tutorial portion and shit gets real and, if anything, you're so caught up thinking this was silly that the next part just catches you even more off-guard...
no subject
Date: 2010-12-14 11:40 pm (UTC)The whole thing about his parents, the forgetting and not-forgetting and just wanting his big brother to come home... I have a little brother, and I'm super protective of him, and that combined with my own parental issues has me fucking tearing up over here. In a good way! Gah, okay, new paragraph.
This is fucking fantastic. I love love love the way you write Alex, and the way you work his delusions about his parents, and then cool surrogate big brother Evan versus HABIT!Evan at the end and... you're amazing, basically, is what I'm trying to say here in this rambling and incomprehensible comment.
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Date: 2010-12-19 09:54 pm (UTC)Evan is the coolest surrogate brother ever. And Vince, I'd imagine, though we haven't seen too much of that so far.
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Date: 2010-12-20 04:34 am (UTC)Which makes the whole HABIT thing so much more heartbreaking. Evan's the genre-savvy protector of the group, and he's most likely playing host to a homicidal maniac. He needs a hug.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-15 02:49 am (UTC)Your Alex-voice is just spot on. It bowls me over, because all I can think is "this is him, this is what character!Alex is like." Also, your dialogue is fucking awesome: "Jesus Christ, this place is fucking depressing!" Evan yells out his window. "Get in, dude, before anybody decides I'm trolling for jailbait."
I loled. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 09:56 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2010-12-16 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 09:56 pm (UTC)Your icon freaks my shit out, btw.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-08 12:50 am (UTC)I freaked the fuck out when he called Alex 'rabbit'. But in a good way. Like I grinned like a loon. It was wonderful.