FIC: Home Again
Dec. 14th, 2010 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nilchanceTitle: Home Again
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nilchance
Pairing: Gen.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Set after "Jeff". Alex has visitors while Jeff's not home.
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the series in any way. It belongs, presumably, to Vince, Jeff and Evan.
Warnings: There's a somewhat disgusting reference to Eraserhead.
Evan and Vince come over to check out Jeff's room. It's kind of nice, having them in the house, but Alex's brain is already three steps ahead the whole time they're there: calling Jeff again, laying elaborate plans for prank revenge when Jeff gets back, doing his math homework. Unfortunately, his teacher won't take an excuse like 'sorry, my paranoid brother skipped town to look for his girlfriend who probably just dumped him' for not doing problems 44-48.
As they're leaving, after the camera's turned off, Vince stops. He says to Evan, who's busy giving Sparky thorough goodbye ear tugs, "Hold up a second, man."
Evan exchanges a look with Vince, and gives him a thumb-up. Alex wonders about that sometimes, the way Evan and Jeff and Vince fit together like Tetris tiles. There's never been anybody that could look at Alex and know what he was thinking, aside from Jeff when they were younger, before the accident--
Don't think about that, he tells himself, and switches tracks. His fingers sketch out bass chords, small gestures, nothing anybody could catch and notice. It's important that people not notice.
"Who's a fangirl?" Evan is crooning at Sparky, who's rolled over to show him her belly. "Yes, you are. Spread your legs!"
"Stop molesting my dog," Alex tells him, and Evan snickers.
Vince looks awkward, then stubborn. "Look. You want to come and crash at my place for a while? Until Jeff comes back."
There's something about the way Vince says it, like he doesn't think it's a sure bet. Like maybe Jeff's going to get eaten by a zombie or hit by a car or just decide that he wants to stay gone, and thinking about that makes Alex's stomach feel as crumpled as an empty bag. He shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn't say anything, trying to look squared off and adult. Sometimes he doesn't remember, and sometimes he does, and sometimes he pretends they're not dead, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his shit together. Jeff must think so, too.
Apparently puffing up doesn't work, because Vince adds, gentle like Alex is still some 14 year old kid in a funeral suit, "My folks won't mind."
"Mine might," Alex says, because he knows that'll shut down the conversation, because he's not above cheating when he has to.
Vince looks at him, all sad-eyed, but he doesn't argue. Inertia wins again. "Okay, dude. You can call if they change their mind."
"They won't," Alex replies, meaning I won't, because if he goes to Vince's house he's probably never coming home again, because social services would stroke out, because Vince's folks might not mind a kid but they'd probably mind an old crazy dog with a bad bladder and damned if he's leaving Sparky alone. "You know what they're like."
"Yeah, I know," Vince agrees.
When they're gone, the house is quiet. Alex locks the door behind them, then leans against it. Sparky wags up at him.
"Just you and me, girl," Alex tells her, and goes to get both their dinners out of a can.
***
He forgets his parents are dead after dinner.
He remembers before bed, so it's okay.
Sometimes he worries that he won't remember ever again, and that somebody will lock him up for being crazy, and now Jeff's not at the hospital anymore to hack records and get him out like he said he would if it ever happened.
Sometimes he worries that he won't forget ever again, and he'll never hear his mom's laugh anymore even if it's in his whackjob delusions.
He doesn't know which is worse.
***
The third day Jeff's gone is a Friday. Alex goes to school, even though there's nobody at home to bitch him into going, and he can't concentrate past the sinking feeling of a weekend in his house. Nick's going to his mom's house, and his mom's a social worker, so no crashing over there; risk's too high. By the time school lets out, he's resigned himself to long hikes with Sparky and loitering at the mall.
Then Evan meets him at the parking lot. Alex knows it's Evan because of the Iron Maiden, and because Evan nearly runs him over as he's stepping off the curb.
"Jesus Christ, this place is fucking depressing!" Evan yells out his window. "Get in, dude, before anybody decides I'm trolling for jailbait."
"You're not?" Alex asks, but he's already reaching for the door handle. Evan does that jerk brother move of letting off the brake as Alex is trying to climb in, which Jeff outgrew years ago, but seriously, fuck Jeff anyway.
"That's not the way to talk to somebody who brought you all one hundred movies featured in Bravo's scariest movie moments," Evan says. "I illegally downloaded them and risked landing my virgin ass in prison all for you. Mostly so we can talk about what a pussy Eli Roth is about real horror."
Alex pauses, hanging onto the roof of Evan's car, only one leg inside. "... you're not making me watch freaking Cape Fear."
"No. Your hipster horror cred will be untainted." When Alex doesn't move, Evan reaches into the back seat and snags a disc, which he dangles. "I'll make roasted chicken and we can watch Eraserhead?"
Alex gets in the car.
***
Alex wakes up on the couch, a musty afghan thrown over him. The TV's gone to static, and there's no sign of Evan. The next movie on the list, His back hurts from being jammed against the metal frame, but Sparky is sleeping across his feet. She's old, and it's the first peaceful sleep she's had in a while, so he can live with a sore spine. It won't kill him.
He checks his cell phone, still sitting on the coffee table. No messages. He texts fuck u asshole and hits send with unnecessary force.
After a minute, he can hear someone talking, their voice almost smothered by the static. Like they don't want to be overheard. Careful not to disturb Sparky, Alex sits up a little and calls, "Jeff?"
Evan appears in the door to the kitchen. He's back-lit, and Alex can't see his face, but he can tell by Evan's shadow that he's smiling. "No," Evan says. "No Jeff here. Go back to sleep, rabbit. I'll wait up for him."
"Rabbit?" Alex asks, but Evan's disappeared back into the kitchen.
The static keeps on, like it's the end of the world out there. Alex reaches down to Sparky and pets her, wishing that she'd wake up and keep him company, but she's out like a light. He's alone. With Evan, of course, but. That doesn't feel very comforting right now.
Alex picks his phone back up, still warm from his hand, and texts, just come home ok?
He falls back asleep with the phone in one hand. He doesn't hit send.
Author:
nilchancePairing: Gen.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Set after "Jeff". Alex has visitors while Jeff's not home.
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the series in any way. It belongs, presumably, to Vince, Jeff and Evan.
Warnings: There's a somewhat disgusting reference to Eraserhead.
Evan and Vince come over to check out Jeff's room. It's kind of nice, having them in the house, but Alex's brain is already three steps ahead the whole time they're there: calling Jeff again, laying elaborate plans for prank revenge when Jeff gets back, doing his math homework. Unfortunately, his teacher won't take an excuse like 'sorry, my paranoid brother skipped town to look for his girlfriend who probably just dumped him' for not doing problems 44-48.
As they're leaving, after the camera's turned off, Vince stops. He says to Evan, who's busy giving Sparky thorough goodbye ear tugs, "Hold up a second, man."
Evan exchanges a look with Vince, and gives him a thumb-up. Alex wonders about that sometimes, the way Evan and Jeff and Vince fit together like Tetris tiles. There's never been anybody that could look at Alex and know what he was thinking, aside from Jeff when they were younger, before the accident--
Don't think about that, he tells himself, and switches tracks. His fingers sketch out bass chords, small gestures, nothing anybody could catch and notice. It's important that people not notice.
"Who's a fangirl?" Evan is crooning at Sparky, who's rolled over to show him her belly. "Yes, you are. Spread your legs!"
"Stop molesting my dog," Alex tells him, and Evan snickers.
Vince looks awkward, then stubborn. "Look. You want to come and crash at my place for a while? Until Jeff comes back."
There's something about the way Vince says it, like he doesn't think it's a sure bet. Like maybe Jeff's going to get eaten by a zombie or hit by a car or just decide that he wants to stay gone, and thinking about that makes Alex's stomach feel as crumpled as an empty bag. He shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn't say anything, trying to look squared off and adult. Sometimes he doesn't remember, and sometimes he does, and sometimes he pretends they're not dead, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his shit together. Jeff must think so, too.
Apparently puffing up doesn't work, because Vince adds, gentle like Alex is still some 14 year old kid in a funeral suit, "My folks won't mind."
"Mine might," Alex says, because he knows that'll shut down the conversation, because he's not above cheating when he has to.
Vince looks at him, all sad-eyed, but he doesn't argue. Inertia wins again. "Okay, dude. You can call if they change their mind."
"They won't," Alex replies, meaning I won't, because if he goes to Vince's house he's probably never coming home again, because social services would stroke out, because Vince's folks might not mind a kid but they'd probably mind an old crazy dog with a bad bladder and damned if he's leaving Sparky alone. "You know what they're like."
"Yeah, I know," Vince agrees.
When they're gone, the house is quiet. Alex locks the door behind them, then leans against it. Sparky wags up at him.
"Just you and me, girl," Alex tells her, and goes to get both their dinners out of a can.
***
He forgets his parents are dead after dinner.
He remembers before bed, so it's okay.
Sometimes he worries that he won't remember ever again, and that somebody will lock him up for being crazy, and now Jeff's not at the hospital anymore to hack records and get him out like he said he would if it ever happened.
Sometimes he worries that he won't forget ever again, and he'll never hear his mom's laugh anymore even if it's in his whackjob delusions.
He doesn't know which is worse.
***
The third day Jeff's gone is a Friday. Alex goes to school, even though there's nobody at home to bitch him into going, and he can't concentrate past the sinking feeling of a weekend in his house. Nick's going to his mom's house, and his mom's a social worker, so no crashing over there; risk's too high. By the time school lets out, he's resigned himself to long hikes with Sparky and loitering at the mall.
Then Evan meets him at the parking lot. Alex knows it's Evan because of the Iron Maiden, and because Evan nearly runs him over as he's stepping off the curb.
"Jesus Christ, this place is fucking depressing!" Evan yells out his window. "Get in, dude, before anybody decides I'm trolling for jailbait."
"You're not?" Alex asks, but he's already reaching for the door handle. Evan does that jerk brother move of letting off the brake as Alex is trying to climb in, which Jeff outgrew years ago, but seriously, fuck Jeff anyway.
"That's not the way to talk to somebody who brought you all one hundred movies featured in Bravo's scariest movie moments," Evan says. "I illegally downloaded them and risked landing my virgin ass in prison all for you. Mostly so we can talk about what a pussy Eli Roth is about real horror."
Alex pauses, hanging onto the roof of Evan's car, only one leg inside. "... you're not making me watch freaking Cape Fear."
"No. Your hipster horror cred will be untainted." When Alex doesn't move, Evan reaches into the back seat and snags a disc, which he dangles. "I'll make roasted chicken and we can watch Eraserhead?"
Alex gets in the car.
***
Alex wakes up on the couch, a musty afghan thrown over him. The TV's gone to static, and there's no sign of Evan. The next movie on the list, His back hurts from being jammed against the metal frame, but Sparky is sleeping across his feet. She's old, and it's the first peaceful sleep she's had in a while, so he can live with a sore spine. It won't kill him.
He checks his cell phone, still sitting on the coffee table. No messages. He texts fuck u asshole and hits send with unnecessary force.
After a minute, he can hear someone talking, their voice almost smothered by the static. Like they don't want to be overheard. Careful not to disturb Sparky, Alex sits up a little and calls, "Jeff?"
Evan appears in the door to the kitchen. He's back-lit, and Alex can't see his face, but he can tell by Evan's shadow that he's smiling. "No," Evan says. "No Jeff here. Go back to sleep, rabbit. I'll wait up for him."
"Rabbit?" Alex asks, but Evan's disappeared back into the kitchen.
The static keeps on, like it's the end of the world out there. Alex reaches down to Sparky and pets her, wishing that she'd wake up and keep him company, but she's out like a light. He's alone. With Evan, of course, but. That doesn't feel very comforting right now.
Alex picks his phone back up, still warm from his hand, and texts, just come home ok?
He falls back asleep with the phone in one hand. He doesn't hit send.