FIC: This Mystery Explore

[nilchance]

Title: This Mystery Explore
Authors: nilchance
Rating: Adult
Pairing: JDM/Misha Collins
A/N: Sequel to If Bird or Devil. Jeff's a dom, and Misha is his boy.



Jeff paces his apartment for a long while before he picks up the phone. He has all the lights on, energy crises be damned, and he still can't shake the chill in his bones. He resists pulling the curtains shut, but he feels the night through them like eyes on the back of his neck.

The phone rings four times, and Jeff's on the verge of hanging up when Misha's groggy voice answers, "H'llo?"

Which is Jeff's cue to feel like an ass. Misha's several hours ahead of him, it's nearly morning there, and he deserves better than to be roused by his skittish boyfriend on the cell. Still, hearing Misha is like a shot of liquid courage straight into the vein. Jeff's shoulders ease down from their position around his ears, and he smiles. "Hi, baby."

"Jeff?" Sounding abruptly awake, Misha asks, "Is everything okay? Did something happen?"

"Hey, no, shh. Shh. I'm okay." Jeff sits, automatically slipping into the role. If Misha was there, he'd be on Jeff's lap now. Jeff's hands feel empty without Misha to stroke down. He glances at Bisou, a pale substitute, but his girl is snoring obliviously on the couch. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you up, it could've waited, but I just... I wanted to hear you."

"Don't be sorry. I didn't sleep well. Nightmares."

Jeff frowns. "Still?"

"Yeah, well." Misha dodges that discussion, like he usually does when Jeff is going to suggest seeing a doctor, and muffles his yawn. "Needed to get up anyway. So talk to me. Did you find that boy?"

Jeff laughs. He can't help the hysterical edge to it.

"Jeff?" Misha asks, alarmed.

"Nothing. Nothing. Sorry." Scrubbing a hand over his face, Jeff sighs. "It got complicated."

"What happened?" There's an edge of steel in Misha's voice. Some fools mistake 'sub' for 'weak', Misha's pretty eyes and bared throat an invitation to underestimate him. Jeff knows better.

Jeff wavers in quiet for a moment, struggling, then gets up and closes the blinds. He tells Misha everything, beginning with Scott and ending with the empty street where he lost Jensen. If Jeff's voice hitches when he says Renee's name, if it sounds like a confession, Misha understands. They survived that ugliness together, the cops and the memorial, the photographers and the tourists.

After everything's said, Misha murmurs, "It's still not your fault."

"I know that."

"Renee's death was just a godawful thing that happened because some asshole decided to carve up a woman. You don't owe this guy anything--"

"You didn't see him." Restless, Jeff stands and starts to pace again. "He's a wreck, Mish. He's going to go looking and get himself hurt."

"He was going to kill you."

"Because he's messed up. If you died..." Jeff stops, swallows, and tries to start again. "I don't know. I'll probably never see him again. In the meantime, I need to get tested in case there was something on the blade. Back to condoms for a while."

Misha sighs, sounding so heartbroken about it that Jeff laughs. Fabric shifts as Misha's voice drops to a softer, hungry place. "I wanted you to come on my face."

Jeff's breath jerks out. "Yeah?"

"Mm. Maybe the belt, your hand, I..." A rough exhale into the phone, scratchy with interference. "Mark me up when I get back. I want you to."

Jeff hums. His cock aches; he'd like to think it's because he's getting so hard so fast, but he's been hard since Jensen touched his thigh. "Think you deserve that, boy?"

Misha's breathing shudders like Jeff touched him. Touching himself, Jeff realizes.

"Yeah," Jeff murmurs. "Get yourself hard for me. Fuck your hand."

"Nn." Misha whimpers, and it shoots straight through Jeff. "Want you so bad, wish you were..."

"I know." Closing his eyes against the ache, Jeff says, "Don't come. You getting wet for me, sweetheart, precome all over those sheets?"

"Yeah," Misha breathes. "Yeah."

"Lick it off your hand."

A wet noise, the answer to his order. Jeff can hear Misha's breathing as he gets closer, the rising tide of it as Misha sucks his fingers clean. Jeff can see him like that, boxers shoved down, writhing in the neat flannel sheets. He growls, and Misha makes a hiccuping sob like Jeff pushed deep in him.

"Stop," Jeff says, and smiles at Misha's begrudging whine. "Yeah. Don't you come until I can see it."

"Fuck," Misha groans. "Jeff..."

"Uh-uh. You want me to mark you up? You'll give me this. And you'll jerk yourself hard when I tell you."

"Mmph." Misha's biting his lip, Jeff can tell, against cursing and against how much he likes this. "Bastard. In that case, I'm getting up to get coffee. Call me, okay? And be safe. Don't be fooled by a pair of pretty green eyes."

"I will," Jeff promises. "Uh. Be safe, not that other thing."

"Mm-hmm," Misha drawls. Softer, he adds, "Love you."

Jeff smiles. "You too."

After the connection's gone, Jeff wonders when he told Misha that Jensen's eyes were green.

Comments

[qwertypoiuq.livejournal.com]

*shivers* Very nice, and that last line... utter perfection. Another wonderful world you've created with such sparse yet vivid details, already sucking me in. I'm eagerly looking forward to more.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

*beamface* Thank you!

(Oh, your icon. Misha, how are you so PRETTY?)

[poisontaster]

*hums* Oh, that's lovely. I think that smut is so much hotter when there's that sense of connection and history and you do that so well, implying years in a conversational shorthand.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

*flappy hands!* I got your smut icon! Yay!

Thank you. *beam*

[iwwfw.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, the places you take me with your writing. Just amazing. The depth of trust and history with Jeff and Misha is immediately felt. The connection between them sizzles. If I were to ever see Jeff and Misha on the same screen, I think my head would be too full of your fantastic images to think of anything but your 'verse.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

*hum* I think if I saw Misha and Jeff on the same screen, my OVARIES would explode.

Thank you!

[spae.livejournal.com]

Oh yum ... I feel the urge to read all three of these again just to wallow in the verse!

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you! What a great compliment.

[gypsy-atavari.livejournal.com]

I wondered the same thing about the green eyes.

As always, the words you use expertly paint a vivid picture of shared history, present connections and a glimpse of dark days ahead.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you! \o/

[embroiderama]

Wooooo, awesome! The feel of this story is so very cool.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Yeah, I'm very much into the noir genre right now, and I think I'm borrowing some of that style.

[silentflux]

Just read both fics and wow - just wow :) I can't wait to see what more comes of this. Absolutely lovely.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

(Hee, your icon.)

[livrelibre.livejournal.com]

I'm really liking this.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[maharetr.livejournal.com]

Nggh. Hai, really hot, awesome writing. So glad you're continuing this!

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Btw, who is that in your icon? I always think it's Joanie Laurer for some reason.

[maharetr.livejournal.com]

*googles* Hee! I can see the resemblance, but it's Abby (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abby_Sciuto) from NCIS.

[softbluebuddy.livejournal.com]

Great update. I had a feeling about that reveal there at the end. But I really liked this little piece,

"What happened?" There's an edge of steel in Misha's voice. Some fools mistake 'sub' for 'weak', Misha's pretty eyes and bared throat an invitation to underestimate him. Jeff knows better.

Pointed out quite nicely.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Yeah, I always feel like people underestimate the strength required to yield.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I was thinking about this earlier today at work (and very inconvenient it was, too!)...and I kept thinking about Misha. How does *he* feel about sharing his lover, even if it is "just a job" to Jeff (albeit a job he takes seriously)? And still with the nerve-twinging over the *timing*...murdered girl, get yourself a boy and leaves on a trip and hey! there's a boy who, great, wants to kill Jeff etc...

That last line is *perfect*. Now Jeff's gonna have that murmuring undercurrent of "did I? must have...but I don't remember saying so...but...it's *Misha*, don't be stupid..."

Yes, for the sub not equalling weak! In every fandom, I rejoice to find a very few who really *get* that and reflect it in fic. I remember talking to someone about the alpha/beta pack analogy and pointing out that what's an alpha without his beta? He's got no one to lead, to protect, to have love and respect him...no outlet for his strength, and no sex. *gasps!*


Oh, it was very nice phone sex, too. *grins*

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

I think... I think Misha is feeling very conflicted about this sharing Jeff thing. He shares Jeff with his clients, obviously, but that's kink without sex. He asked Jeff to have SEX with a boy, possibly knowing that it was Jensen. He knows that it's necessary, but he's also asking Jeff to mark him up, to claim him again.

YES. Exactly. I always feel like I need to emphasize that the betas are the INFRASTRUCTURE, the backbone. You might not see their influence, but you'll definitely know when it's not there.

Thank you! I always love your comments.

wolves and people

[auroramama]

Humans being not all that behavior-dimorphic, I wonder if the non-dom partner in a relationship like Jeff and Misha's isn't as much alpha female as beta male. An alpha male without an alpha female might as well be dead, in evolutionary terms; only the alpha female breeds, and she will enforce that ruthlessly. Humans aren't as exclusionary about breeding, fortunately, but imposing a bipolar paradigm (sorry!) on a fluid system like a wolf pack means cutting out a lot of the most interesting relationships.

[tabaqui]

This is all very strange and creepy, with the suicidal raven - or crow - and the killer and...
*shivers*

And, of course, Jeff as dom? Gods. I can just imagine....
:)

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *grin* Well, it is influenced by Poe.

[zelda-zee.livejournal.com]

Mmm, hot and - kinda scary. I worry that Misha's the guy Jensen's looking for. Still, in the meantime - hot.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

OMG, your icon. *DIES FOREVER* That's so hot and so understated. I love it.

Thank you!

[lomer.livejournal.com]

*flails* Just as I thought "did Jeff mention Jensen's eyes?" Jeff comments that he didn't. Ooo... I'm loving this!

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *beam*

[andycake.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I like this one. You've got tension stretching tautly through each chapter from the very first word. I am dying to devour more of this one.

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

It just occurred to me-how often does Jeff take *female* clients? The emphasis has been on *his* boy, you should pick up a *boy* and do what we do, etc. If Renee had been male, would she have been killed?

*ponders*

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

That's an interesting question. *cryptic*

Okay, some hints: yes, Jeff does take female clients. Jeff just doesn't have SEX with clients. He never had sex with Renee. And if Renee was male, no, she wouldn't have been chosen.

[cream-fudge.livejournal.com]

I would like to leave a nice and witty comment, but all my brain is capable of OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Thank you! I'm flattered.

[monica-catch22.livejournal.com]

-jaw droppage-

That is all.

Well, other than a sidenote: Miss you like tons and you need to email me back or get online or something :-P and give your wife a hug for me!

[ysbail.livejournal.com]

Ooh ... that last line sparks questions and then some...

Can hardly wait to see where this goes...

[fureux.livejournal.com]

why do i feel like i've just stepped on a landmine? la la la and then out of nowhere MOFO-BAM! jdm/mc... WHO KNEW! so good, so good.

you have such a knack for rhythm and plot, sparse yet so vivid. hot like a red hot burning thing.

[niccy07.livejournal.com]

Yah! Hotness (that's an understatement by the way) mixed with a little intrigue. I'm glad you wrote a new part by the way.

[kimannebb.livejournal.com]

Yeah, see I thought the same thing... when did Jeff say "green eyes". Sure, he could have mentioned it when he told Misha what was going on, although it would have been a little awkward so I didn't really think that would be the answer.

Hmmmmm.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Ah, and now Misha wants to be marked up to show he's still Jeff's, because-despite it being his idea, for...whatever mysterious reasons *cues spooky music*-he's insecure right now. Jeff *might* have been killed...and he might have really liked those pretty green eyes, too.

I like how *affectionate* they are, and that Jeff called Misha for comfort-the "strong" one leaning on the supposed "weak" one, as others might see it (stupid people!). :)

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Yes. Misha's been rattled (by the visions, by the trip, by whatever) and he wants to be comforted in that simple, visceral way. While it's still only the two of them.

just when you thought it was over...:D

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Going thru my mail box, I remembered some stuff I'd wanted to say, before I got possessed by EVOL.


I think Misha's actually the pivotal point in the potential threesome...I mean, Jeff's the one who can reach Jensen in certain ways; but Misha's the one Jeff leans on...so if *Misha* collapses, the whole house does. *muses*

It might be harder to get Jensen to learn to lean on Misha's strength than it is to teach him to submit to Jeff, actually.

Misha's family seem very loving and close-does he have any hidden traumas in *his* past? Abandonment issues re: his dad or something? Or fear of his powers? Does *Misha* trust his own strength?

Re: just when you thought it was over...:D

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

I think Misha's actually the pivotal point in the potential threesome...I mean, Jeff's the one who can reach Jensen in certain ways; but Misha's the one Jeff leans on...so if *Misha* collapses, the whole house does. *muses*

You are SO smart. *beam* Yes. Jeff needs Misha to support him emotionally, and to support his need to comfort and dominate. Misha is the one stable point, and one has to wonder if Legion is hunting Misha because he's the Oracle or because he's Jeff's.

Misha is currently coasting on the fact that a) this hidden power accounts for years of nightmares and sleepwalking, and thus he ISN'T crazy and this IS real, and b) the visions are useful. But when it comes down to depending on his visions to save people, and those visions fail...

And yeah, Misha grew up desperately poor and without a father. He's used to being a support in his family. But that's also a lot of pressure to live with for so long. Submitting takes the edge off, but it doesn't erase his expectations of himself.

Again: thank you, thank you, thank you.