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nilchanceYou know what sucks about chronic pain? That it's chronic.
I could deal with one round of ass-kicking pain such as happened on Friday, where all I could do was curl in the fetal position and cry until the drugs kicked in, if that was the end of it. I can breathe through that kind of pain, even if it's a 9 of 10 on the classic pain scale. It's the repetition that gets to me. Friday had pain, Saturday had a migraine and a fever, Sunday had a mid-level malaise and ouchiness, Monday was fine but I was hurting by about 5 and had to go to bed. That grinding unstopping pain, knowing that I'll wake up hurting and go to bed hurting and probably hurt in between, is just... it's brutal. It makes me live in twitchy anticipation, because I've been told both "don't chase your pain! medicate at the first sign!" and "don't overmedicate, you'll get rebound headaches!" by the same doctor.
I can't concentrate right now. Even when I'm not hurting enough to distract me, I'm probably reeling from the side effects of the pills that keep me going.
Which is my tl;dr way of saying that I've quit werewolf_bb. *koff* I've got about 5.5k that I'm going to round the edges off of and post serially, which is the way I roll.
One nice thing is that I have awesome friends, and I have a wife who will tuck me in with a heating pad and tell me I'm not allowed to drown myself in the toilet. She retrieves cats for me to cuddle, and she is writing my action scenes. You know that's true love.
I could deal with one round of ass-kicking pain such as happened on Friday, where all I could do was curl in the fetal position and cry until the drugs kicked in, if that was the end of it. I can breathe through that kind of pain, even if it's a 9 of 10 on the classic pain scale. It's the repetition that gets to me. Friday had pain, Saturday had a migraine and a fever, Sunday had a mid-level malaise and ouchiness, Monday was fine but I was hurting by about 5 and had to go to bed. That grinding unstopping pain, knowing that I'll wake up hurting and go to bed hurting and probably hurt in between, is just... it's brutal. It makes me live in twitchy anticipation, because I've been told both "don't chase your pain! medicate at the first sign!" and "don't overmedicate, you'll get rebound headaches!" by the same doctor.
I can't concentrate right now. Even when I'm not hurting enough to distract me, I'm probably reeling from the side effects of the pills that keep me going.
Which is my tl;dr way of saying that I've quit werewolf_bb. *koff* I've got about 5.5k that I'm going to round the edges off of and post serially, which is the way I roll.
One nice thing is that I have awesome friends, and I have a wife who will tuck me in with a heating pad and tell me I'm not allowed to drown myself in the toilet. She retrieves cats for me to cuddle, and she is writing my action scenes. You know that's true love.
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-08 05:05 pm (UTC)I have to choose between pain (the chronic knee thing) or other pain (if I take the one pain med that stops the knee pain, I get horrible GI reactions). It's like the Catch-22 from hell.
I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. And so glad that you have your wonderful wife and cuddly kitties. And I hope you feel much better very soon. *HUGS*
no subject
Date: 2010-09-08 09:52 pm (UTC)And then you have the doctors who will tell you to take medication to cope with the side-effects from taking the other medication, and it feels like this endless spiral of pills.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 05:41 pm (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 05:39 pm (UTC)