nilchance | the dreaded RL post (Reply)

The bad: I had a scare in May when a neck MRI caught a cyst in my throat, above the thyroid. Asshole Doctor said I should get an ultrasound, and if it was bigger than 1 cm that they'd biopsy-- cancer was mentioned as a possibility, but "don't worry about it." I worried about it. The ultrasound showed that it was 2 cm wide, 1 cm deep and 1 cm long, and so it was in the biopsy range, but the cyst was in the thyroid duct instead of on the thyroid itself. The ultrasound tech was going to leave without telling me anything, by the way. I had to stop her in the door and ask how big the cyst was, unless I wanted to wait until the following WEEK to hear about the condition of my own body. She told me breezily that the cyst was "only a centimeter", and don't worry about it, you're fine. I didn't learn where it was until T used her mad medical skills to get a copy of the report before the doc called.

So now my thyroid bloodwork came back normal and my cyst is in my throat. The new location means that I get to see an ENT next week to discuss what to do. Most times, thyroglossal cyst means fine needle aspiration, biopsy and maybe surgery to prevent recurring infections and to head off any (very unlikely, I'm assured, but my lizard brain is still shit-scared) development of carcinoma. Oh, and the neurologist is tossing around the idea that I might have lupus. Just in case I needed moar drama.

I hate diagnosis Jeopardy. I hate waiting for appointments with different specialists. I hate getting new doctors and not knowing whether they'll listen or if they'll blow it off. I hate the feeling that between doctors and techs and nurses, I'm the last on the need-to-know list about what's going on.

I've also been whale-shit-on-the-bottom-of-the-ocean depressed recently. Which means I've not been writing a lot. Sorry.

The good stuff is very good. I've been married to T for 8 years as of 6/21; we're thinking about going to get hitched in NY. I bought a lovely new computer that has plenty of hard-drive space. I have a job I enjoy, with people I adore and the possibility of lateral movement. I have health insurance again. My cats are adorable. I'm writing again. I received a book in the mail that's been really, really good so far (thanks,

realpestilence!) and I'm abusing my library card to read Pratchett and Bujold. I'm going to the movies and brunch tomorrow with good friends. I'm grateful for all of these wonderful things.