(no subject)

[nilchance]

Interesting link as it applies to fandom, especially hate memes: Opting Out, a post on the blogger's right to conserve mental energy. "So, to sum up, sometimes the best thing is to just refuse to deal with the bullshit. To opt out. It's really liberating, actually. See, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if people like me. It doesn't matter if people think I'm "inclusive" or "welcoming" or whatever. It's not my job to give a voice to assholes. It's not my obligation to include all people. It's not my responsibility to justify myself to people, to give those people my anger and energy, who will never accept any justification that I might offer. At the end of the day, people who believe in their own position don't bend over backwards to please those who disagree with them or who dislike them. They don't expend energy on making those who disagree with them or who dislike them feel good."

So, y'know, there's my contribution for the day.

Comments

[lomer.livejournal.com]

I've got to say I agree. The lastest Hate Meme had me curious. It made me wonder if I was possibly important enough for anyone to say anything about me. I wanted to click on that link... but then I realized that there's no way that finding myself there would make me happy or validated in any way. I'd feel included with other people who were hurt by it, but that doesn't mean I should let my feelings get hurt. I decided to ignore the link and just forget the whole thing. I still don't know if I merited a complaint, but quite frankly, I'm happier not knowing. I don't need to know that people don't like me. I'm just happy with the people who DO like me. Why invite that stress into my life?

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly that. I was trying hard not to get involved or to read the hate meme, but T did go there and I got enough bad mojo from her reactions that I was glad I didn't go further.

It's hard for me to realize, but: not everybody has to like me, y'know?

[lomer.livejournal.com]

I'm a professional actor. I WANT to be liked. Hell, EVERYONE wants to be liked. It's a basic human desire, "please like me." I've had to get used to being rejected on a daily basis and having some people just NOT like me. It's really HARD to realize that this isn't because I'm a bad person or because I have no talent, but simply because no matter who you are or how hard you work, someone will always dislike you. The important thing is remember all your friends who ADORE you.

I try to find the random happy for the random bad. Yesterday I saw one of my girls talking to her dad. I hadn't been introduced to the dad so I tweaked her pigtail and asked "are you gonna introduce me to dad?" He immediately got in my face and growled at me, "don't you touch my daughters hair. Never touch my daughter's hair. Her hair is real, you understand? You don't touch it, ever." Then he took her and stomped off. That completely took me aback because it's not like I gave her a new hairstyle, I simply touched it. I was feeling awful in the cardrive on the way home when I saw a guy utterly rocking out in his car to some music. He was headbanging and singing and when he saw me looking instead of getting mad or embarassed, he just grinned and rocked out even harder. So that was a random bit of happy I was able to exchange for my random bit of crap. I try to assign just as much importance to the happy little things as to the bad little things. It's hard, but when I manage it it makes me more sane.