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nilchanceYou know what sucks about chronic pain? That it's chronic.
I could deal with one round of ass-kicking pain such as happened on Friday, where all I could do was curl in the fetal position and cry until the drugs kicked in, if that was the end of it. I can breathe through that kind of pain, even if it's a 9 of 10 on the classic pain scale. It's the repetition that gets to me. Friday had pain, Saturday had a migraine and a fever, Sunday had a mid-level malaise and ouchiness, Monday was fine but I was hurting by about 5 and had to go to bed. That grinding unstopping pain, knowing that I'll wake up hurting and go to bed hurting and probably hurt in between, is just... it's brutal. It makes me live in twitchy anticipation, because I've been told both "don't chase your pain! medicate at the first sign!" and "don't overmedicate, you'll get rebound headaches!" by the same doctor.
I can't concentrate right now. Even when I'm not hurting enough to distract me, I'm probably reeling from the side effects of the pills that keep me going.
Which is my tl;dr way of saying that I've quit werewolf_bb. *koff* I've got about 5.5k that I'm going to round the edges off of and post serially, which is the way I roll.
One nice thing is that I have awesome friends, and I have a wife who will tuck me in with a heating pad and tell me I'm not allowed to drown myself in the toilet. She retrieves cats for me to cuddle, and she is writing my action scenes. You know that's true love.
I could deal with one round of ass-kicking pain such as happened on Friday, where all I could do was curl in the fetal position and cry until the drugs kicked in, if that was the end of it. I can breathe through that kind of pain, even if it's a 9 of 10 on the classic pain scale. It's the repetition that gets to me. Friday had pain, Saturday had a migraine and a fever, Sunday had a mid-level malaise and ouchiness, Monday was fine but I was hurting by about 5 and had to go to bed. That grinding unstopping pain, knowing that I'll wake up hurting and go to bed hurting and probably hurt in between, is just... it's brutal. It makes me live in twitchy anticipation, because I've been told both "don't chase your pain! medicate at the first sign!" and "don't overmedicate, you'll get rebound headaches!" by the same doctor.
I can't concentrate right now. Even when I'm not hurting enough to distract me, I'm probably reeling from the side effects of the pills that keep me going.
Which is my tl;dr way of saying that I've quit werewolf_bb. *koff* I've got about 5.5k that I'm going to round the edges off of and post serially, which is the way I roll.
One nice thing is that I have awesome friends, and I have a wife who will tuck me in with a heating pad and tell me I'm not allowed to drown myself in the toilet. She retrieves cats for me to cuddle, and she is writing my action scenes. You know that's true love.
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 05:54 am (UTC)2. I wish I could give you some spoons.
3. I know it's unlikely that you can stand to be in front of a computer screen much, but I bet
It's not spoons, but it's maybe kind of distracting. And if it won't help now, maybe knowing it's waiting for you when it does will be something to look forward to.
4. Did I mention the {{{hugs}}}?