FIC: Some Revelation
Jun. 24th, 2008 10:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nilchanceTitle: Some Revelation
Authors:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nilchance and beanside
Rating: Adult
Pairing: JDM/JA
A/N: Retriever-verse.
Lily stands with her back to him, her hands on the scythe. The sky around them is oversaturated, rust and gold and black, and Lily's shadow stretches long on the ground. The wheat is tall, taller than Jeff. He knows the cartography of this dream, but can't escape it. His legs are too short. He is too weak.
Dust rises on the horizon, and Jeff can hear them: the grind of machinery, the gibbering of their feral voices.
"Lily," he says, his child voice, helpless as he is always helpless here. "Where's Mama?"
There is a pool of blood spreading around Lily's feet, blossoming on the back of her dress as it runs down her thighs. Lily doesn't turn back to him as she speaks. "You should run and hide. Like we talked about."
This will be the last he sees of her whole. He wants her to turn around, but he can't remember her face. He's lost her among all the other women he's seen discarded in the dust. He drags in a breath and tastes oily smoke on the wind. He is much older before he realizes he's breathing his parents' ashes.
"Run, Jeff," Lily says. "They're coming."
"Retriever."
Sit-rep; he was on his back. He couldn't smell smoke. His motions were restricted, his side one long ache of pain. There was something in his hand, bird-boned and warm. He could snap it with only a little more pressure. There was no dust in his lungs or his eyes; he was home. Why was there someone in his home?
"Retriever," the same voice said again, calm strained by discomfort. "It's all right."
Jeff blinked, his vision clearing of the haze of adrenaline and nightmare. There was a man by his bed, glasses and gray suit... his Librarian. Calliope. Jensen. He was nearly breaking Jensen's arm. Why was it so damned hard to think?
Relaxing his grip, Jeff dropped his hand back to the bed. Unruffled, Jensen rolled his shirt sleeve back down to cover the red mark left by Jeff's fingers. It would bruise.
Jeff wet his dry lips and creaked, "Happened?"
"You came in pursued by Cybers. You were shot. It was only a flesh wound, but you shouldn't strain yourself today." Jensen took a glass off the nightstand table and raised it to Jeff's lips. Jeff nearly balked at the fussing, and his shy, skittish Librarian gave him a quelling stare-down until Jeff sullenly gave in. "You might rip your stitches. Drink this, please."
The liquid was blessedly cool, mint and something else soothing the sandpaper Jeff's throat. Jeff drank greedily until Jensen eased the glass away.
Jeff dropped his head back to the pillow. "I feel too wretched for a flesh wound. What else?"
"The wound become infected. Your fever's broken." Jensen raised the sheet to show Jeff the poultice laid thick above the throbbing hurt of the wound. "It should improve now."
Jeff was naked aside from his bandages. Jensen had stripped him? His El looked too frail to dead-lift Jeff like that, but damned if he hadn't.
"The wound..." Memory struck Jeff; there had been a crossbow bolt, the tip streaked with something milky that showed even through his own blood. Jeff struggled to sit up and was forced back, hissing, by sharp pain. "The Cybers are poisoning their bolts. I should tell the Admin guys, maybe let them take a blood sample--"
"A sample can be taken from your clothes. Jeff," Jensen said, his voice made sharper by impatience. "Please be still before I have to stitch you again. You won't much enjoy it if I do."
Jeff blinked at Jensen, startled. Now that he was looking, Jeff could see the lines of fatigue and stress on Jensen's face. He could nearly taste the blood and the adrenaline, the slow burn of fear that had kept Jensen upright mingling with the scent of his own illness.
The fear got even sharper as Jensen averted his eyes from Jeff's. "I apologize, Retriever, I only meant--"
Jeff started to tell him not to flinch like Jeff was infected, then caught himself growling. Hell. Swallowing back his instincts, on high alert at the scent of his El scared-hurting, Jeff touched Jensen's arm. "Don't be afraid of me."
"Of course," Jensen murmured. He closed his eyes, his breathing becoming slower, and by painful inches relaxed beneath Jeff's hand.
"Okay." Jeff squeezed Jensen's arm, careful to be gentle. The warmth of it, the rhythm of Jensen's breathing, seemed to ease the ache behind Jeff's eyes. Damn. This Librarian thing would be easier to accept if it wasn't so effective. "Okay. Thank you."
"Can I get you anything?" Jensen asked softly. "Food, more tea?"
Jeff shook his head. Fuck. He felt weak. And from the still-concerned look on his El's face, he looked even worse. Not that Jensen was a shining paragon of health. "I think I'm just going to sleep a little longer. Would you--Come here, please. On the bed?"
Jensen blinked, processing this, then climbed onto the bed. He moved slowly, careful not to bump Jeff's wounded side, and settled down on his belly beside Jeff. He was stiff, unwelcoming, but he put his warm hands on Jeff's chest. Up close, his eyes were serious and very green. "If you'd like, I could serve you. The endorphins from orgasm might--"
Laughing hurt. Jeff held Jensen's eyes, trying not to show that he'd been tempted to accept. "I'm not up to that, but thanks. It helps to have you near me."
"Oh." Relaxing a little, Jensen ducked his head. "All right. Would you like me to read to you?"
"I'd like you to sleep." Hooking his fingertip under the bridge of Jensen's glasses, Jeff eased them off and folded them up. Jensen looked at him; even the myopia was oddly charming. Jeff indulged himself by stroking the high, proud curve of Jensen's cheekbones. "That's all."
Hesitantly, Jensen lowered his cheek to rest on Jeff's chest. Jeff felt the heat of his breath. As if that was the last necessary confirmation of safety, lassitude swept over him and blurred his vision.
Gods, he was tired of this.
Maybe if Jensen was there, he wouldn't dream. Maybe then the past would stay where it was meant to be.
***
When he woke again, Jeff felt more clear headed. He also felt a heavy weight laying against his shoulder. It was... snoring softly. Jensen snored. Amused, Jeff turned towards the source of the sound.
In sleep, his El's face went from pretty to heartbreaking. It softened, making him look younger, unguarded. Jeff's fingers itched to capture it in clay. He wondered if Jensen would let him, if he'd sit while Jeff sculpted. It wasn't like they wouldn't have plenty of time. Standard operating procedure was to stand down for a minimum of two weeks any Retriever who had been injured. With the new crop of Retrievers coming out of training in a few days, it might be closer to three or more before he was called on again.
This was dangerous territory he knew too well from Erato, from Daphne; Librarians were fragile, knowing things that broke too easily to keep. But Calliope (Jensen) had kept Jeff from the Care Unit, had stayed beside his bedside beyond the expectations of duty or courtesy. He had read to Jeff and kept him from his nightmares. It was too late to treat Jensen as if he was disposable. Jensen's scent was in his head; Jeff wanted to rub against him, mark him, break him open and keep him safe.
The weeks stretched ahead of them. Time enough to get to know his Librarian.
Authors:
nilchance and beansideRating: Adult
Pairing: JDM/JA
A/N: Retriever-verse.
Lily stands with her back to him, her hands on the scythe. The sky around them is oversaturated, rust and gold and black, and Lily's shadow stretches long on the ground. The wheat is tall, taller than Jeff. He knows the cartography of this dream, but can't escape it. His legs are too short. He is too weak.
Dust rises on the horizon, and Jeff can hear them: the grind of machinery, the gibbering of their feral voices.
"Lily," he says, his child voice, helpless as he is always helpless here. "Where's Mama?"
There is a pool of blood spreading around Lily's feet, blossoming on the back of her dress as it runs down her thighs. Lily doesn't turn back to him as she speaks. "You should run and hide. Like we talked about."
This will be the last he sees of her whole. He wants her to turn around, but he can't remember her face. He's lost her among all the other women he's seen discarded in the dust. He drags in a breath and tastes oily smoke on the wind. He is much older before he realizes he's breathing his parents' ashes.
"Run, Jeff," Lily says. "They're coming."
"Retriever."
Sit-rep; he was on his back. He couldn't smell smoke. His motions were restricted, his side one long ache of pain. There was something in his hand, bird-boned and warm. He could snap it with only a little more pressure. There was no dust in his lungs or his eyes; he was home. Why was there someone in his home?
"Retriever," the same voice said again, calm strained by discomfort. "It's all right."
Jeff blinked, his vision clearing of the haze of adrenaline and nightmare. There was a man by his bed, glasses and gray suit... his Librarian. Calliope. Jensen. He was nearly breaking Jensen's arm. Why was it so damned hard to think?
Relaxing his grip, Jeff dropped his hand back to the bed. Unruffled, Jensen rolled his shirt sleeve back down to cover the red mark left by Jeff's fingers. It would bruise.
Jeff wet his dry lips and creaked, "Happened?"
"You came in pursued by Cybers. You were shot. It was only a flesh wound, but you shouldn't strain yourself today." Jensen took a glass off the nightstand table and raised it to Jeff's lips. Jeff nearly balked at the fussing, and his shy, skittish Librarian gave him a quelling stare-down until Jeff sullenly gave in. "You might rip your stitches. Drink this, please."
The liquid was blessedly cool, mint and something else soothing the sandpaper Jeff's throat. Jeff drank greedily until Jensen eased the glass away.
Jeff dropped his head back to the pillow. "I feel too wretched for a flesh wound. What else?"
"The wound become infected. Your fever's broken." Jensen raised the sheet to show Jeff the poultice laid thick above the throbbing hurt of the wound. "It should improve now."
Jeff was naked aside from his bandages. Jensen had stripped him? His El looked too frail to dead-lift Jeff like that, but damned if he hadn't.
"The wound..." Memory struck Jeff; there had been a crossbow bolt, the tip streaked with something milky that showed even through his own blood. Jeff struggled to sit up and was forced back, hissing, by sharp pain. "The Cybers are poisoning their bolts. I should tell the Admin guys, maybe let them take a blood sample--"
"A sample can be taken from your clothes. Jeff," Jensen said, his voice made sharper by impatience. "Please be still before I have to stitch you again. You won't much enjoy it if I do."
Jeff blinked at Jensen, startled. Now that he was looking, Jeff could see the lines of fatigue and stress on Jensen's face. He could nearly taste the blood and the adrenaline, the slow burn of fear that had kept Jensen upright mingling with the scent of his own illness.
The fear got even sharper as Jensen averted his eyes from Jeff's. "I apologize, Retriever, I only meant--"
Jeff started to tell him not to flinch like Jeff was infected, then caught himself growling. Hell. Swallowing back his instincts, on high alert at the scent of his El scared-hurting, Jeff touched Jensen's arm. "Don't be afraid of me."
"Of course," Jensen murmured. He closed his eyes, his breathing becoming slower, and by painful inches relaxed beneath Jeff's hand.
"Okay." Jeff squeezed Jensen's arm, careful to be gentle. The warmth of it, the rhythm of Jensen's breathing, seemed to ease the ache behind Jeff's eyes. Damn. This Librarian thing would be easier to accept if it wasn't so effective. "Okay. Thank you."
"Can I get you anything?" Jensen asked softly. "Food, more tea?"
Jeff shook his head. Fuck. He felt weak. And from the still-concerned look on his El's face, he looked even worse. Not that Jensen was a shining paragon of health. "I think I'm just going to sleep a little longer. Would you--Come here, please. On the bed?"
Jensen blinked, processing this, then climbed onto the bed. He moved slowly, careful not to bump Jeff's wounded side, and settled down on his belly beside Jeff. He was stiff, unwelcoming, but he put his warm hands on Jeff's chest. Up close, his eyes were serious and very green. "If you'd like, I could serve you. The endorphins from orgasm might--"
Laughing hurt. Jeff held Jensen's eyes, trying not to show that he'd been tempted to accept. "I'm not up to that, but thanks. It helps to have you near me."
"Oh." Relaxing a little, Jensen ducked his head. "All right. Would you like me to read to you?"
"I'd like you to sleep." Hooking his fingertip under the bridge of Jensen's glasses, Jeff eased them off and folded them up. Jensen looked at him; even the myopia was oddly charming. Jeff indulged himself by stroking the high, proud curve of Jensen's cheekbones. "That's all."
Hesitantly, Jensen lowered his cheek to rest on Jeff's chest. Jeff felt the heat of his breath. As if that was the last necessary confirmation of safety, lassitude swept over him and blurred his vision.
Gods, he was tired of this.
Maybe if Jensen was there, he wouldn't dream. Maybe then the past would stay where it was meant to be.
***
When he woke again, Jeff felt more clear headed. He also felt a heavy weight laying against his shoulder. It was... snoring softly. Jensen snored. Amused, Jeff turned towards the source of the sound.
In sleep, his El's face went from pretty to heartbreaking. It softened, making him look younger, unguarded. Jeff's fingers itched to capture it in clay. He wondered if Jensen would let him, if he'd sit while Jeff sculpted. It wasn't like they wouldn't have plenty of time. Standard operating procedure was to stand down for a minimum of two weeks any Retriever who had been injured. With the new crop of Retrievers coming out of training in a few days, it might be closer to three or more before he was called on again.
This was dangerous territory he knew too well from Erato, from Daphne; Librarians were fragile, knowing things that broke too easily to keep. But Calliope (Jensen) had kept Jeff from the Care Unit, had stayed beside his bedside beyond the expectations of duty or courtesy. He had read to Jeff and kept him from his nightmares. It was too late to treat Jensen as if he was disposable. Jensen's scent was in his head; Jeff wanted to rub against him, mark him, break him open and keep him safe.
The weeks stretched ahead of them. Time enough to get to know his Librarian.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 02:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:15 pm (UTC)Oh, YES, he should definitely do all those things.
More Retriever-verse! I am bouncing with joy!!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:15 pm (UTC)Oh and Jensen with his "I am your El, and you are NOT going to make me stitch you up again, understand?" makes me handflap. Oh. Oh. And Jeff. Jeff. Oh.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:22 pm (UTC)Oh gods! I hope so!!! *g* *smushes the stories out of you*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 03:44 pm (UTC)And then I already gushed about the rest. And sleeping, sleepy boys. *hums*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 04:15 pm (UTC)And that Jensen goes from pretty to heartbreaking in his sleep. so much yes.
How lucky to get two in one week!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 04:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 05:20 pm (UTC)Looking forward to more.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 05:24 pm (UTC)A lovely surprise - thank you.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 05:59 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing this world with us. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-28 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 06:07 pm (UTC)Two Retriever-verse fics in one week = almost orgasmic
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 08:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 09:59 pm (UTC)I'm absolutely enthralled by the growing relationship between Jeff and Jensen. Look forward to seeing Jeff getting to know his El better while he's recuperating...
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 10:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 10:40 pm (UTC)such beauty
I want it on film dammit!! *g*
lovely update hope for more asap
HUGS
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 11:00 pm (UTC)This is my favorite line in the entire verse I think (and in a world full of beautiful lines it's hard for me to pick just one), but it's such a lovely detail!
The weeks stretched ahead of them. Time enough to get to know his Librarian.
Oh I really hope he does!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 11:28 pm (UTC)Luvs,
LK
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 11:47 pm (UTC)HAPPY DAY ^_^
I love this verse. I think this'll probably be my standard reply to any time you update this verse. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-24 11:56 pm (UTC)I also love how this is one of the sexiest series I've read and there's no friggin' sex! It's the temptation and anticipation. So good!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 12:32 am (UTC)*shivers*
And poor Jensen.
Poor both of them.
*cuddles*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 02:55 am (UTC)I am only just now introduced to it, and the shockingly vivid barrenness of this version of the world and the mindscapes of its inhabitants have had me stranded in your universe. The rare, precious tenderness weaving in and out of its harshness has me captive, even at this moment. I want to know more about this verse of yours and the (beautifully fragile, human) pair that come alive by your magic! How do you make it so. . . tangible?
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 04:09 am (UTC)Thank you.
And so very much looking forward to more.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 04:36 am (UTC)EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYES!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 04:44 am (UTC)This was so beautiful and moving. I love the dream scene.. WOW! Just amazing. How broken and horrible and Lily I want to know more about <3 I love the relationship of Jeff and Jensen, Retriever and Librarian and I'm just dying for more! I really love this verse <3
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 07:07 am (UTC)GUH! The inherent promise in those words gave me the shivers. I love this verse and cannot wait to see what is next. I do not comment nearly enough, but I read it all and adore it.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 07:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-25 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-26 05:06 pm (UTC)I'm all melting sighs now, thank you ladies!!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-26 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-27 06:46 am (UTC)I can not even begin to express how much I love these two. I know they've probably far to go and a very difficult road to tread but the little flashes are enough to make me glee (and squee) quite happily.
More soon please.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-27 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-28 06:07 am (UTC)FYI, this one seems to be lacking a tag for the 'verse.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-07 09:09 am (UTC)I can't wait until the next installment. I'm honestly not a fan of Jeff/Jen, but something about the way you write it makes me eat it up in all your AUs. Keep up the great work!