top surgery ramble

[nilchance]

it's 7 days 'til top surgery. this time next week, we'll be in a nice hotel in Sibley. T will be eating breakfast and we will be getting ready to head to the surgery center at 10, since my surgery is scheduled for noon and I have to be there 2 hours early. (the actual time can be rescheduled because of cancellations and such, so this is pending a call I'll get the night before.) I have no doubt that I will be losing my mind. XD

I've transitioned from being stressed about getting the surgery cancelled (although that's still a worry) to fretting about the recovery period. some people are fine to wander around the grocery store on the day of surgery, and some say they were in bed for the next week. I'm used to being the caretaker, not the one who needs it, so this will be tough. I put so much internal value on being able to help people out, and I won't be able to do much for a couple weeks. I think the problem is that I don't KNOW how I'm going to recover, and I won't know until I'm already in it. it's intimidating.

but I have plenty of stuff to do in order to keep myself busy. a very kind friend sent me several modules worth of solo d&d material so I can create a character and play by myself! I'm really looking forward to digging into that. and I have a watchlist of several Let's Plays of Expedition 33 and Dark Souls III. mostly I use Let's Plays as a kind of podcast while I fiddle on a paint-by-numbers app, but both of those have combat that is engaging enough to keep my full attention even when I'll be tired and stoned. and I have friends I can pester on discord if I get bored. T took off the day after my surgery and then it's a weekend, so I have people available 24/7 for the first three days, and then (because T works from home) I'll have somebody to help me with stuff like getting food. I know people do this alone, but I'm incredibly lucky to have a lot of support.

in the meantime, I'm trying to do all the stuff I won't be able to. I'm working on getting ahead of coursework in this certification exam preparation course I'm taking, although concentration is a struggle. this weekend will be a cleaning binge. I've been going to the gym every day and working with free weights at home since I won't be cleared to do that stuff for 6 weeks. we have some new furniture to put together. the cat has decided in her infinite fluffy wisdom that every single day she wants to crawl into my arms and snuggle up to my chest while I hold her; I joked on bluesky that she's figured out the boobs are limited edition and wants to get her snuggles in while she's got them. it's keeping me busy and (mostly) from going crazy. surgery feels so soon and yet so far away.

Comments

[coyotegestalt]

and your friends will also be pestering you on discord frequently to remind you to stay put and rest <3

[tabaqui]

Awwww, kitteh.
A cleaning binge would be my reaction, too, since gods knows you're not gonna want to fool with that in the immediate aftermath. (Plus travel ALWAYS = cleaning.)
Blessings and best of luck on a quick and easy recovery, and remember...be KIND to yourself and careful of yourself. Treat you like you would treat a recovering friend.

[weyrlady]

The less you move during recovery, the faster you'll heal! If you need more people nagging you on Discord, I'm happy to help. XD

The last time I had surgery, I was assured that I'd be up and about in 24 hours and back to normal in 48, and uh. That was a lie.

[dine]

it's getting close! change can be scary, so no wonder you're fretting some, but big changes can bring big rewards. and you're getting to be the person you really are. I'm cheering you on, and hoping things go smoothly, and your recovery isn't a huge, lengthy deal

[nilchance]

I greatly appreciate that (and you) because I will undoubtedly need the reminders. <3

[nilchance]

yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking re: cleaning. I know my lovely spouse will clean so things won't be a total disaster, but I'd rather give her a blank slate to start with. plus I have a lot of nervous energy to burn off by scrubbing the floors. XD

I will definitely do my best to be kind to myself along the way. and thank you for the kindness! <3

[nilchance]

I will be happy to receive more nagging because I will probably need the reminders. plus it's always good to talk to you. <3

oh ugh, I'm sorry. I hate when they undersell how hard recovery will actually be and then you get blindsided. it's not gonna scare me, just let me be prepared!

[nilchance]

thank you so much, I really appreciate that. <3 I'm really looking forward to the results of it even if the road might be a little bumpy for the first couple weeks. I can't wait to look in the mirror without wincing.