nilchance: Picture of a pomegranate with spilled seeds, text "I think you're confused, I'm not Persephone" (misha mish)
[personal profile] nilchance
Title: Outtake #1: Kissing
Author: [livejournal.com profile] nilchance
Pairing: Misha Collins/Jeremy Sisto, Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Jensen/JDM
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: This isn't real.
A/N: Set in [livejournal.com profile] poisontaster's A Kept Boy 'verse. This story deals with slavery as used in the AKB 'verse. This chapter is set during Chapter 62 of [livejournal.com profile] poisontaster's story A Kept Boy.



The kissing happens like a dream.

Jensen's mouth. He tastes clean, like he's always ready to be kissed, like a piece of art that looks effortless until you're close enough to see the work at its heart. The kiss is kind but awkward, a brush of lips, a tease, a lesson. Misha tries to lean into Jensen, to control the contact, but Jensen leans away from him.

Jensen makes a correction: "just feel," he says.

(Misha's first kiss is years behind him, at ten, a girl at one of endless sunburnt protests, her bubblegum taste and the spittiness of it, just another adult thing he doesn't understand, until his little brother comes and tells him he's gross and that there are turtles under the dock.)

As if Jensen knows that Misha's mind just skittered in a thousand different directions, he puts his hand on the back of Misha's neck. Jensen's hand is warm, the intimate curl of his fingers against the base of Misha's skull. The touch wakes an answering heat in his belly, an unfurling that makes Misha uneasy; he's used to suppressing that heat when it comes. His breath comes faster. There's enough air in the space between him and Jensen, he doesn't have to fight for it.

Just feel, Jensen says, as if that's something Misha should know to do on his own. Misha thinks he just feels for a moment, but it's feeling that his knee fucking hurts, and he pulls back into the safety of ignoring his body.

There's another correction, something about not closing his eyes and wanting and Misha thinks this is very complicated and it's not just anything, but then Jensen is kissing him again. There's no graze and retreat this time, the kiss settling and deepening. Jensen holds him and seems to ask things with that kiss, for Misha to wake up. The heat in Misha's body sinks, opening, to his groin. His cock. Misha's fingers flex. He wants to touch Jensen back.

And then Jeremy interrupts: "yeah, am I supposed to be mad? Because that's just..."

There's a rich, hot note in Jeremy's voice that is new to Misha. Misha's fingers clench on his thighs. When Jensen lets him go, Misha glances sidelong at Jeremy and sees him watching, eyes dark. He remembers the way Jeremy touched his throat, that night that he came to take Misha home, and what Jeremy said to him: there's nothing for you here.

Jeremy had been half-crazy that night, not himself. Misha had thought that Jeremy wanted him to touch, to fuck.

This is not his game, Misha had decided, but oh. Oh. He likes that look in Jeremy's eyes. It's heady to be looked at like that. He feels his pulse in his throat.

"Hot," Jeff murmurs. His eyes are on Jensen, a half-lidded hungry look that bides its time. Misha expects his feeling to shrink away into remembered wariness, but it remains smoldering. Even when Jeff glances at Misha, at Misha's mouth. Misha realizes that his lips are parted, and he presses them together, self-conscious. Jeff returns his attention to Jensen, where it should be, because Jensen reacts to Jeff's hunger like a flower soaking up sun.

His master's voice, Misha thinks, and it sours him.

There is banter. Misha ignores it, watching as Jensen leaves with Jeff without a glance back. Jeff's hand rests on the small secret curve of Jensen's spine, an encircling possession that Misha's not sure he even wants.

Curious, testing, Misha kneels at Jeremy's feet and apologizes. He watches Jeremy's face.

Jeremy pulls him up, embarrassed. "Hey, no..."

The steady throbbing quiets but does not die, smoldering low, waiting for the chance to burn him.

Misha wonders, now that it's started, if he can put this fire out.

Date: 2012-06-05 07:49 pm (UTC)
poisontaster: Misha Collins (Misha!)
From: [personal profile] poisontaster
I love Misha's ambivalence about his own sexuality, his uncertainty whether he even WANTS it, let alone what to do with it. I feel like there's this prevailing notion that you just wake up one day as a fully formed sexual being and you instantaneously know what you want and how to get it and the only confusion comes from whether X person actually likes you, rather than a process that you go through yourself, of figuring out what you like and what you want and how all the pieces fit together. Narratively, I think we vastly neglect our self-sexuality, if that makes sense.

Date: 2012-06-05 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] batdina.livejournal.com
as always, lovely to read new words from you.

Date: 2012-06-06 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cookiemom6067.livejournal.com
love your icon!

Date: 2012-06-05 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lomer.livejournal.com
I love this

Date: 2012-06-05 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alina-kotik.livejournal.com
I agree, processing and understanding your own reactions, feelings, emotions related to sexuality has always seemed hard for me, and books (my only source of information at the time) did not dwell on this.

Date: 2012-06-06 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cookiemom6067.livejournal.com
I love seeing this from Mishas POV - I know I said that in the last chapter too, but just - YAY.

I get so frustrated with the masters in the AKB world. I understand their issues with consent, but they are depriving their slaves of sexual expression. At least in the case of slaves like Jensen and Misha that aren't comfortable with stepping outside their relationships with their masters.

The more I think about Master Price, the more I think - what the hell was he thinking? The average guy doesn't want to reach his 30's as a celibate virgin.

Date: 2012-06-06 07:42 am (UTC)
fufaraw: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fufaraw
Nice look at the interior of Misha's thoughts. And feelings he's not had to address till now.

Date: 2012-06-08 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rock-chick-333.livejournal.com
*flails of glee*

Misha wonders, now that it's started, if he can put this fire out.

NONONONO, don't try and put it out, Misha, no. *drags Jensen back in to finish what he started*

Silliness aside, large and clamorous chunks of me want very badly for this delicious outtake to lead into Jeremy and Misha swiftly discovering a deep and abiding love for each other, and a smooth, blissful first time (preferably described lavishly and at length)... but, hell. This is AKB 'verse, so I also know just how vainly optimistic such desires are likely to turn out.



Date: 2012-06-23 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vofpracticality.livejournal.com
I love the little snapshots you give us of this 'verse. Misha is always going to fascinate me.

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