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nilchanceTitle: Fool
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nilchance
Rating: Adult
Pairing: the Losers, kidfic
A/N: Written for comment_fic: Jensen and Cougar dream about having kids after Max is dead. This is about half of that prompt. So, yeah.
Jensen didn't think about the future, because it only brought to mind where he was instead of home. Besides, it took most of his brain to survive this deadly game of speed chess that's his life. He kept his head down and didn't think much further than the next mission.
Then came his niece. Her ten tiny fingers, ten perfect toes, pried open something in Jensen's head that he thought had rusted shut. He had to survive for her. There were no other options.
Then came Clay and his offer, getting Jensen out of the sandbox in about 12 hours when Jensen had been trying to transfer for two years.
Then came Cougar, and things got really fucked up.
****
The dreams start in Bolivia. They go like this:
Nice little house in the suburbs. Wifi on his laptop. White picket fence. Back porch, sun tea, kiddie pool. Golden retriever galloping around, kicking up clods of dirt with its huge paws as it chases a radio car that Jensen's niece is driving around the lawn. She is concentrating fiercely, her tongue poking out the corner of her mouth. She has on Cougar's hat.
Cougar is in the kiddie pool, a dark-haired baby on his lap. The baby smacks its (her) little hands on the surface of the water, squealing. Cougar is soaked to the bone but grinning.
Jensen looks down and sees the sleeping blond toddler crashed out in his arms, slung between Jensen's chest and the laptop. Jensen touches the kid's spiky hair and gets kneed for his trouble while the kid tries to get closer in his restless sleep.
With that slow dream logic, Jensen hums the Imperial March from Star Wars. It's the lullaby his sister used to sing him (hot summer nights when plates were breaking and Daddy drank) and it's deep in Jensen's bones, and this is his kid, and so it settles him down, too. Grunting in his sleep, the kid stuffs his thumb in his mouth and sinks deeper.
Cougar looks up from the baby. Meets Jensen's eyes. Smiles. It's good that he's here, it's right, because they're like Jay and Silent Bob, they're heterosexual life partners or something, they're in this until one of them stops breathing. And so Jensen doesn't wonder why there's no mothers in this little tableau. He just smiles back.
Then he wakes up, and Cougar is sleeping in the other twin in this shitty Bolivian motel, and they have a shift in the doll factory tomorrow. Jensen tells himself that it's because he and Cougs are living in each other's back pocket, that he knows Cougar is sleeping so close, that they can't get away from each other and he misses his niece and he wants to be back home.
He tells himself this, and he knows he's not so good a grifter that he can fool himself.
Author:
nilchanceRating: Adult
Pairing: the Losers, kidfic
A/N: Written for comment_fic: Jensen and Cougar dream about having kids after Max is dead. This is about half of that prompt. So, yeah.
Jensen didn't think about the future, because it only brought to mind where he was instead of home. Besides, it took most of his brain to survive this deadly game of speed chess that's his life. He kept his head down and didn't think much further than the next mission.
Then came his niece. Her ten tiny fingers, ten perfect toes, pried open something in Jensen's head that he thought had rusted shut. He had to survive for her. There were no other options.
Then came Clay and his offer, getting Jensen out of the sandbox in about 12 hours when Jensen had been trying to transfer for two years.
Then came Cougar, and things got really fucked up.
****
The dreams start in Bolivia. They go like this:
Nice little house in the suburbs. Wifi on his laptop. White picket fence. Back porch, sun tea, kiddie pool. Golden retriever galloping around, kicking up clods of dirt with its huge paws as it chases a radio car that Jensen's niece is driving around the lawn. She is concentrating fiercely, her tongue poking out the corner of her mouth. She has on Cougar's hat.
Cougar is in the kiddie pool, a dark-haired baby on his lap. The baby smacks its (her) little hands on the surface of the water, squealing. Cougar is soaked to the bone but grinning.
Jensen looks down and sees the sleeping blond toddler crashed out in his arms, slung between Jensen's chest and the laptop. Jensen touches the kid's spiky hair and gets kneed for his trouble while the kid tries to get closer in his restless sleep.
With that slow dream logic, Jensen hums the Imperial March from Star Wars. It's the lullaby his sister used to sing him (hot summer nights when plates were breaking and Daddy drank) and it's deep in Jensen's bones, and this is his kid, and so it settles him down, too. Grunting in his sleep, the kid stuffs his thumb in his mouth and sinks deeper.
Cougar looks up from the baby. Meets Jensen's eyes. Smiles. It's good that he's here, it's right, because they're like Jay and Silent Bob, they're heterosexual life partners or something, they're in this until one of them stops breathing. And so Jensen doesn't wonder why there's no mothers in this little tableau. He just smiles back.
Then he wakes up, and Cougar is sleeping in the other twin in this shitty Bolivian motel, and they have a shift in the doll factory tomorrow. Jensen tells himself that it's because he and Cougs are living in each other's back pocket, that he knows Cougar is sleeping so close, that they can't get away from each other and he misses his niece and he wants to be back home.
He tells himself this, and he knows he's not so good a grifter that he can fool himself.