(no subject)

[nilchance]

The thing about being a cat is that Jensen can't figure out the physics. He was 6'2, for fuck's sake, and now he's this tiny fluffy cat that only comes up to the top of Cougar's boot; where did the rest of him go? Man, if he comes back and his dick is gone, he's gonna be put out.

There's no typing, though he tries for a while, experimenting with the tip of a paw and the end of his tail and finally, exasperated, his nose. Most of what comes out is a string of keysmash. Disgusted, Jensen hops down from the table and goes to harass someone for food. He can't actually see, what with no glasses, so it's more luck than skill that he finds Cougar instead of, say, Pooch, who refuses to talk to Jensen except in cat macro.

"Hey," he says, "hey, hey, pick me up, damn it." Except it comes out chirping noises, which is really killing him because he sounds like something on Cute Overload, and he only knows about that site because his sister sent him pictures and sometimes stakeouts take too long and it'd just be weird to look at porn.

"Can has rifle?" Pooch mutters.

Jensen puts his ears back at him.

The other thing about being a cat is that people keep scooping him up. Jensen isn't the snuggling type, exactly, and the first time he almost bit Clay's tattoo off; it took a stupid hour for them to coax him out from behind the toilet tank because the body had panicked. Just the body, okay, he wouldn't wig out and go hyperventilate in the bathroom even though Clay is really big right now. There had been sucking up, and Cougar using Spanish egregiously, and also a can of tuna.

But it's been long enough that he's kind of gotten used to the whole ridiculous mess. Even if Aisha seems to be the only one who doesn't pick him up, which is a shame, because hi, free feels to be copped, thank you. It's just that Jensen is short at the moment and the beds are high and he can't see, and sometimes Clay puts him in the bathroom window so he can watch birds.

So Cougar leans down and picks him up, and there's no bloodshed. Jensen mrrps at him and bats at the firing pin Cougar was cleaning. Cougar rubs the top of his head, continues what he was doing, no big deal. It's why Jensen loves Cougar best.

He still wants his body back.

Comments

[nilchance.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

(Especially since Jensen was probably the one to show Pooch cat macros in the first place. After making cracks about Clay's facial hair and "o noes they be taking my bucket!" and wow, now that's backfired.)

[audient.livejournal.com]

adkjhfd "o noes they be taking my bucket" hahahahaha. in my mind is more like "Clay kitteh iz not amoosed :|||||| " via Clay's face when he sees jensen and pooch fucking around.