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nilchanceYou know what sucks about chronic pain? That it's chronic.
I could deal with one round of ass-kicking pain such as happened on Friday, where all I could do was curl in the fetal position and cry until the drugs kicked in, if that was the end of it. I can breathe through that kind of pain, even if it's a 9 of 10 on the classic pain scale. It's the repetition that gets to me. Friday had pain, Saturday had a migraine and a fever, Sunday had a mid-level malaise and ouchiness, Monday was fine but I was hurting by about 5 and had to go to bed. That grinding unstopping pain, knowing that I'll wake up hurting and go to bed hurting and probably hurt in between, is just... it's brutal. It makes me live in twitchy anticipation, because I've been told both "don't chase your pain! medicate at the first sign!" and "don't overmedicate, you'll get rebound headaches!" by the same doctor.
I can't concentrate right now. Even when I'm not hurting enough to distract me, I'm probably reeling from the side effects of the pills that keep me going.
Which is my tl;dr way of saying that I've quit werewolf_bb. *koff* I've got about 5.5k that I'm going to round the edges off of and post serially, which is the way I roll.
One nice thing is that I have awesome friends, and I have a wife who will tuck me in with a heating pad and tell me I'm not allowed to drown myself in the toilet. She retrieves cats for me to cuddle, and she is writing my action scenes. You know that's true love.
I could deal with one round of ass-kicking pain such as happened on Friday, where all I could do was curl in the fetal position and cry until the drugs kicked in, if that was the end of it. I can breathe through that kind of pain, even if it's a 9 of 10 on the classic pain scale. It's the repetition that gets to me. Friday had pain, Saturday had a migraine and a fever, Sunday had a mid-level malaise and ouchiness, Monday was fine but I was hurting by about 5 and had to go to bed. That grinding unstopping pain, knowing that I'll wake up hurting and go to bed hurting and probably hurt in between, is just... it's brutal. It makes me live in twitchy anticipation, because I've been told both "don't chase your pain! medicate at the first sign!" and "don't overmedicate, you'll get rebound headaches!" by the same doctor.
I can't concentrate right now. Even when I'm not hurting enough to distract me, I'm probably reeling from the side effects of the pills that keep me going.
Which is my tl;dr way of saying that I've quit werewolf_bb. *koff* I've got about 5.5k that I'm going to round the edges off of and post serially, which is the way I roll.
One nice thing is that I have awesome friends, and I have a wife who will tuck me in with a heating pad and tell me I'm not allowed to drown myself in the toilet. She retrieves cats for me to cuddle, and she is writing my action scenes. You know that's true love.
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-11 07:51 am (UTC)I don't know all your health problems in detail but if you've the feeling that this could be at least partly cause for your pain or other negative effects I could ask my doctor/surgeon for references of doctors in the US for you? Because from all I know he's pretty much the expert on this internationally and he made the "diagnosis" (as in "yup, I see it *right* there") from the same MRIs that all my other doctors said everything was perfectly fine...
Seriously, any thing I could do to help you I will try. We have to stick together and share information (good and bad) because if we hope on the doctors alone we're pretty much screwed. I only got this thanks to someone else talking about their experiences after all.
Thank you. *hugs* I wish you many good days with as few bad days as possible and only very small toilets around. ;)