Seriously, fandom?

[nilchance]

Chub!Jensen controversy and now a big-bang set in an obesity research center?

Trigger. Biiiiig trigger.

I am sore tired of catching this merry fat-hating bullshit every time I turn on the TV ("now on Dr. G, Medical Examiner: OBESITY CRISIS OBESITY FATTY FATTY FAT FAT DEAAAAATH!"), but fandom too, for serious?

Argh.

ETA: Also, okay. I understand that the underlying message is that Jensen has to come to love himself. HOWEVER. It comes with the understanding that Jensen is expressing his love for himself by losing the weight "for Jared", to go find Jared and love and enlightenment and that.

Here's the thing. Very rarely do fat people actually get that way by cramming fast food and abusing their bodies. They get there through genetics, or thyroid issues, or antidepressants (hi there!), or a history of yo-yo dieting that resets their resting point of ideal weight. A history of eating disorders. So forcing one's body into a thinner shape by exercising to exhaustion (thus making exercise an unpleasant chore that one HAS to do to BEAT OBESITY), or limiting calories to deprivation, is a shock to one's system. It's not necessarily self-love, though it may be motivated by the desire to be lovable or to live longer (because of fear of obesity killing them) or because they can't be happy until they're thin.

Self-love is unrelated to a number on a scale. It's recognizing one's worth, unconnected to one's weight. The beauty of your body as it is, flaws and all, not as it could be. Pursuing health is an awesome thing, and a great way to love yourself, but pursuing thinness is not the same thing.

Comments

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

*insert rant about WLS here* (That shit pisses me of SO MUCH.)

[darling-lisa.livejournal.com]

I'm not fat because I hate myself I'm fat because I'm fat and while societal impressions can be a factor in how I feel about myself on any given day I know that I won't love myself more if I lose weight. That's just facts.

THIS.

You completely summed up what I have been trying to figure out how to say since I saw that story pop up on my flist.

Thank you.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

That thing about happiness = weight is what keeps the diet industry going - it's the same basic advertising concept as a certain brand of beer meaning you'll suddenly be surrounded by hot babes, and because of the social pressure about being fat, we're so desperate that we'll believe anything.

Meanwhile, there's plenty of things we can do that make us feel better about ourselves that have nothing to do with losing weight.

Also, I totally agree with your BMI rant. :) (I've had it in for those stupid height = weight charts and the entire concept since I was 12. I was 5'4" and about 150. I could, at the time, carry my 100lb best friend up three flights of stairs, piggy back. I had defined muscle in my arms and legs. Some moron woman at Weight Watchers - I was there with my mom - tried to tell me I needed to lose 60 lb. WTF?)

[siubhlach.livejournal.com]

You're absolutely right. And I, for one, would quite happily see the entire dieting industy crash and burn in a fiery ball of cartoon death. I hate the way they peddle what are often at best dubious quick-fix remedies that are likely to do more harm than good to desperate people. I tend to equate them to somewhere around the same level as drug pushers in my head.

Very much so. I like to find ways to make my life fulfilling and interesting; I find that makes me feel so much better about myself than being 2lb lighter on weighing day does (and I've tried it).

Happened to you too, huh? I ended up going home and talking to my mother, who's a qualified nurse, about it. Her response is actually not repeatable in polite company (and my mother is a classy lady; she never swears!). My current favourite BMI factlet is that the entire England rugby team - professional sportsmen, no less - would register as morbidly obese on the BMI. Moronic really is the best word for it.

[ixchel55.livejournal.com]

BTW, that photo is from a Brazilian add for Fit Yogurt (http://www.feministing.com/2007/06/) (look about 1/3 of the way down) and it's supposed to make you want to loose weight.

Because she's not sexy at all. o_O

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

When I was reading, that's the part that threw me, right away. The doctor's callous "you did this to yourself -- there is no other reason for you to be this fat". Same with the "you're going to die if you don't fix it", and "here, have some more exercise gear, because we love you". And I just kind of... fell for it. For the subsequent enthusiasm of the trainers, for the enthusiasm of the author... I told myself, I'm having this reaction because I'm being a defensive fatty, and I should look at it objectively. And today, still mulling on the story and unable to stop thinking and fretting about it, I realized that I fell for it. That I wasn't thinking objectively at all; that I SHOULD have smoke coming out of my ears.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

The thing that always baffled me was the fact that I had visible muscle in my arms and legs - like, some adult men would be jealous of the muscle definition that I had - and you just don't get that degree of definition if you're at a super-high body fat percentage, which I would've had to be to need to lose 60 lb, right?

Like, does common sense not kick in and some point and say 'wait, this makes no sense?'

[bkm5191.livejournal.com]

I can't even watch television adverts in English anymore, because the "fat YOU DIE" hatred is to much. It's like all the vileness that used to spread out by hate groups to everyone is distilled into one socially acceptable hate crime.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

I remember that ad! And yeah, whoever planned that photoshoot apparently doesn't have a working brain. lol

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

To top it off, that logic is fundamentally lacking. Your parents can easily be carrying genes for things which are not expressed in them, but which do express in you. (See for example, blue eyed kids of brown eyed parents - if each parent had a parent with blue eyes, it's perfectly possible to get a blue eyed kid even though neither parent is expressing the blue eyes themselves.)

I mean, if you're going to go for the 'genetic excuse' argument, at least understand the basics of how genetics work! The doctor would've had to get a heck of a lot more family history than just mom and dad.

If it helps, I think one of the reasons why I pick up on stuff so quickly is that I live with my parents and they both buy into the diet = health thing. So I get into arguments about it with them all the time, keeps me on my toes. :)

[beanside.livejournal.com]

"Inside every fat person is a skinny person crying to be free"

I ate that person. *nod*

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

I know! It seems every other ad is for a weight loss program or pill (I especially love the one that starts off with "does extra weight make you look like this?" with an extreme close up of people's midsections-- thanks for the extra dehumanizing tactic, jerks) and I asked mom if this has gotten worse or if I'm just paying more attention to it lately, and mom said, "Oh no, it's gotten so much worse". :-P

[ixchel55.livejournal.com]

Bet she was tough and bony.

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

I grew up in a culture where being fat was... kind of an offense against life, the universe and everything. It was seen as a lack of education, a lack of class, as well as a lack of health. To my mother, whose weight obsession eventually fed into (pardon the pun, it really wasn't intended) a larger disorder, I've been the same kind of morbidly obese when I was a size 8, then 12, then 18, etc, etc, and now, at 200+ lbs. I don't know the exact number, because I don't own a scale; I'm not concerned with learning the number, although if I had to guess, I'd say somewhere around 250. My mother's heaviest was probably 135 or so, and that was during her pregnancy. So I have a long way to go in letting go of those deeply ingrained cultural standards. I have to remind myself that I am very well educated, that my cholesterol is fine, that I have so many more pressing things to worry about than what members of my blood family think... But yeah, I probably should have picked up on it sooner.

[deathangelgw.livejournal.com]

thank you for saying what is always hidden and ignored. I for one am one of those who wants to lose weight to have more appreciation for myself. I hate myself and can't even look in a mirror. But that is my choice. It is indeed a long process to learn to love yourself, but it's something that has to be accepted by all people in order to see their beauty. You are beautiful. I love your spirit. *hugs her*

[arabella-hope.livejournal.com]

Wait, so. Did you actually READ the story? I'm confused.

[spae.livejournal.com]

I like this post.

I'm afraid the whole 'get thin to be worthy of being loved' thing is something I abhor and I hate it in fic. Seeing the fic rec'd on my flist actually made my stomach tighten with dread at the thought that I'd have to endure reading it - till I scrolled down and saw this and remembered I have control over what I read. (Duh!)

I also hate taking actors who don't have weight issues and giving them them. Not that I've seen/looked for it, but fic about Hurley from Lost would make more sense ... Jensen keeps himself gorgeous. I think a few of my issues are the fact that I hate people denigrating Jensen in this way - and feel weirdly protective. I was appalled to see a whole comm set up for lovers of fat!Jensen and just ... was totally squicked by it.

Weight is such a sensitive subject, for anyone who's ever been body-conscious, and I just can't see that someone who's ever had the issue would be able to 'make someone fat' for a fic and then 'make them get thin in order to be loved' unless they hate themselves. So I am left with the unhappy conclusion that either it's that, or they lean towards the anorexia disorders and think they know what they're talking about (!!!) or they have a regular body shape and don't have the experience/didn't think about the emotions involved at all.

It's not something I'll be reading. Thanks for expressing yourself and allowing me an outlet to voice what I think <3

[beanside.livejournal.com]

*hug* I'm sorry that you're so down on yourself.

If it helps, I see you as a strong, amazing, compassionate person.

I think you're beautiful.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

I read enough of it to be triggered to want to slide back into an eating disorder.

[(Anonymous)]

I have defined legs and arms, however it depends where the weight is sitting (ie: hips and abs) That's acvtually the worst place for it to sit. Better to have fat everything else and no fat around the middle - which is perhaps what the doctor needs to explain.

[katzb101.livejournal.com]

*points up to what I said to you good lady*

I'm at work and shouldn't be here *g*.

But gives you a drive by hugs (for both of you) anyway :-)

[bkm5191.livejournal.com]

Yeah, right now I live in South Korea so I just don't understand what is on most TV ads, (but they have plenty of miracle diet ads that I understand) but when i go home or traveling the hate poured on 'fat' is repulsive.

[deathangelgw.livejournal.com]

*hugs her back* thank you. I'm getting better, but as I said, it is a long process when you've been doing it for a long time. I think you're fabulous dahling!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Actually, what generally matters (if you go looking at some of the less-touted studies) is whether or not you exercise. You can be fat and fit and have less chance of problems than people who weigh less and don't exercise. Also, you missed the point.

The point is, you can be 300 lbs and love yourself, and be happy and healthy.

... or you can be miserable at any weight.

[quiet000001.livejournal.com]

At 12 I did not have a build up of fat to any significant degree around my waist and hips, and certainly not 30+ lb worth of it. What I had, and what I continue to have, which throws off the stupid BMI numbers, is significant muscle mass and big boobs. (Which are genetic - my grandmother was always slim and extremely active, and also very well endowed.)

Furthermore, what bothers me about the BMI and other 'simple' metrics that use height and weight alone is that they are used by people (such as crazy weight watchers lady) who have no education or qualifications in actually determining what constitutes healthy for any given individual. (Which is particularly interesting in light of the fact that recent studies show that as you get older it's actually BETTER to be in the 'overweight' section of the BMI charts - your chances of survival in the event of major health problems goes up significantly, while there is no statistical evidence that your rate of having those major health problems happen is any higher than that of the general supposedly 'normal' weight population.)

And I'm not even going to get into the whole ridiculous issue of encouraging children and teenagers who are still actively growing and developing to restrict their nutritional intake. They didn't need those brain cells they were going to grow with those extra calories anyway! (Or that bone mass, or whatever.)

In short - if my doctor says 'you have issue X for reason Y' relating to my weight, then I will listen and debate it with him, and possibly adjust my behavior if he has reasons for thinking that beyond 'the pretty chart on the wall says so.' Given that no doctor has ever brought up the subject of my weight or fat distribution, I'm going to have to figure that they trump strange Weight-Watchers-Chart-Lady in determining what is or isn't a healthy weight for my body.