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My thoughts re: this.
HA. Oh, hai there, John. You are pritty. Also, you are from Indiana, and that explains SO FRIGGIN MUCH about you I can't even. Was it the corn, baby? Were you traumatized? Did you ever intone grimly that there is indeed more than corn in Indiana during a hunt? Or was it
EEEEEEVIL corn?
Build: Stocky. ORLY? Did Jeff put on padding or something, or were y'all confused by the 83 layers of clothes John wears over his body at all times? (Trufax: John was once shot in the chest, but the many layers of clothes stopped the bullet before it touched skin. It was caught in layer 42, which is from the Jurassic era.)
Family: apparently John sprang fully-grown from the thigh of Artemis.
Also, for that second picture: "This is the bitch face. You may often see the bitchface, though it is briefly concealed when suspect is shooting things or clinging to his children. If you see the bitchface, avert your eyes, because there's a high risk of snark contamination. If eyebrow is raised, the situation is critical, and you should retreat to a safe distance before contacting authorities."
HA. Oh, hai there, John. You are pritty. Also, you are from Indiana, and that explains SO FRIGGIN MUCH about you I can't even. Was it the corn, baby? Were you traumatized? Did you ever intone grimly that there is indeed more than corn in Indiana during a hunt? Or was it
EEEEEEVIL corn?
Build: Stocky. ORLY? Did Jeff put on padding or something, or were y'all confused by the 83 layers of clothes John wears over his body at all times? (Trufax: John was once shot in the chest, but the many layers of clothes stopped the bullet before it touched skin. It was caught in layer 42, which is from the Jurassic era.)
Family: apparently John sprang fully-grown from the thigh of Artemis.
Also, for that second picture: "This is the bitch face. You may often see the bitchface, though it is briefly concealed when suspect is shooting things or clinging to his children. If you see the bitchface, avert your eyes, because there's a high risk of snark contamination. If eyebrow is raised, the situation is critical, and you should retreat to a safe distance before contacting authorities."
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I feel I ought to test the whole stockiness issue - by seeing if I can still breathe if John's on top. Yes, that would be a very good test. *floats off into dreamworld*
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