nilchance | (no subject)

My thoughts re: this.

HA. Oh, hai there, John. You are pritty. Also, you are from Indiana, and that explains SO FRIGGIN MUCH about you I can't even. Was it the corn, baby? Were you traumatized? Did you ever intone grimly that there is indeed more than corn in Indiana during a hunt? Or was it
EEEEEEVIL corn?

Build: Stocky. ORLY? Did Jeff put on padding or something, or were y'all confused by the 83 layers of clothes John wears over his body at all times? (Trufax: John was once shot in the chest, but the many layers of clothes stopped the bullet before it touched skin. It was caught in layer 42, which is from the Jurassic era.)

Family: apparently John sprang fully-grown from the thigh of Artemis.

Also, for that second picture: "This is the bitch face. You may often see the bitchface, though it is briefly concealed when suspect is shooting things or clinging to his children. If you see the bitchface, avert your eyes, because there's a high risk of snark contamination. If eyebrow is raised, the situation is critical, and you should retreat to a safe distance before contacting authorities."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

6'2??

REALLY?

Is that like when they had Dean listed at 6'3 on his mug shot? It's like the FBI puts everyone in high heels when measuring them for stats. *GRIN*

*snerk* Especially since John dwarfed Dean when he had him shoved against the wall, and *drools a little* Where was I?

Sorry. Went to the happy place.

I believe that those 83 layers are actually for our protection. Much like looking into the true face of the Almighty, seeing John in the buff can be hazardous to one's health. Ask anyone who made it to hour two of PS I Love You. Many a fangirl flailed to death that day.

That layer thing actually worked for Blackbeard. He walked around Tortola and Soper's Hole in like three wool sweaters at all time. They actually did stop a musket ball once. Of course, he probably smelled pretty ripe, but like John Winchester he was a total bad ass. Only, you know, totally evil.

Unnnnghhhhh. PS I Love You unnnnnnnnngggggggghhhhhhhhh. Tattooooooooos. *Drool, gibber*

And I'm a lesbian.

(Plus, you know, an Irish accent that didn't SUCK as much as David Boreanaz's. Doesn't hurt!)

Oddly, I do categorize John/Jeff's body type as stocky. But, to me, "stocky" means built like a refridgerator or just very solidly.
I also do not put 'stocky' and 'fat' in the same category. Generally when someone is stocky (according to me), I see it as them having either a medium or large skeletal structure and a shit-ton of muscle. Yeah, I definitely think of stocky as another word for "solid." Solid in the sense of a brick house as opposed to a straw shack.
But, not everyone sees it the way I do, so I understand disagreement.

That's what I think of as stocky - although short is usually attached - and I still don't agree with JDM. I don't think he has the bulk or shit-ton of muscle to be seen as having a brick house or regridgerator -like build.

Stocky to me just means solidly built as well. Not necessarily ripped like a Greek god, but definitely not a synonym for fat either. I totaly see him as stocky.

I think stocky might be the unfortunate result of being seen around Sam too much. He does look a little more thick-set - muscle-ly, not chubby - next to season 1 Sam. Kind of like Dean is called short. It's kind of weird how JP actually changes the shape and size of those around him.

Apparently, Jared wrecks the BMI grading curve! *laughs*

When I first saw SPN, I thought Jensen looked stunted, which confused me because I'd seen him in other things and I knew he wasn't.

Is it odd that he is one year older than my mom and yet i would still climb him like mount everest?

Is it really bad that when I read the bracketed bit (highly decorated), I had a strange mental picture of John in some sort of pink sparkly ballet costume, with nail polish and mascara. Possibly as a result of some dreadful prank that Sam pulled in his teenage years when he'd lost his mind.

I feel I ought to test the whole stockiness issue - by seeing if I can still breathe if John's on top. Yes, that would be a very good test. *floats off into dreamworld*

I think that in order to ensure we had a proper evaluation, we would need a complete sample. I'll go next!

I hereby volunteer for science. *nod*

For shame, nilchance! We have more than corn in Indiana! We also have soy beans and an unhealthy obsession with basketball.

Oh, soybeans! I forgot the soybeans. And also, waterparks.

And NASCAR! ...Wabash-born, to my shame, alas. *grins*

Hey, FBI! I've got some information to give you.... 10 minutes after those pictures were taken, he was DEAD. You can stop spending taxpayer money on wanted posters for corpses, thanks! (Or maybe even the FBI doesn't think death will keep John down.)

I come from the part of Indiana with the dunes and steel mills. The corn part scares me a little. :)