nilchance | (no subject)

I have issues. And I have neeeeeeds.

I was actually pumped to hear the S3 spoilers about the boys meeting up with two new female characters, because, hi! Femslash for the show! More het! There is no downside here. I was even, more the fool me, kinda hoping that the female hunter character might have visible strength. I'm not asking for a weightlifter here, but maybe the physique of a runner or a swimmer. I was even thinking that maybe Kripke and co might take the opportunity to incorporate more people of color into the show. (And yeah, I know that SPN is actually more diverse than most of TV.)

Yeah, um, not so much. And I understand, it's TV, they're playing to Peoria, whatever. We're in a country where America Ferrera and Sara Ramirez are considered fat. It's a TV culture where the average-looking guy is always special and gets the hot girl, and the reverse (like Ugly Betty) is revolutionary. That's how we roll.

But y'know what? I'm still cranky. I want to see more characters like Lenore or Ellen. I want to see a female hunter who looks like she could fuck your shit up and then go eat some pie. I want to see Sarah Connor doing pullups on her bed. I want belly-padding and wide hips and full cheeks and big butts, more cushion for the pushin', women built for comfort and not for speed.

I want OFC fic! Smut with Dean with curved women whose bellies and thighs are soft enough to cushion his head, who get doublechins when they giggle and who don't fuck around with salad. A big, bold Earth Mama who wears bright colors and probably has to stand on an applebox to make out with either of them, but who won't take any shit. A Rubenesque lush lady who wears red lipstick and high heels and has awesome cleavage, and who struts over and buys Sam tequila. Mmmmm.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I love you. Seriously. LOVE AND LOVE.

I've been saying this shit for AGES, but I think most people just kinda peer at me and go, "great, another whiner." I do love Supernatural and I don't think it's a betrayl or mean or conceited to say that I don't agree with how women are portrayed on the show.

I am not thrilled with the spoilers I have seen. I don't like that one looks like redux!Jo and the other is some gorgeous little thing (but I still hold out hope because it sounds like she's a bit badass). I have to say, the redux!Jo character is the one that kinda irks me the most. I mean, there was something kinda wirey and boyish about Jo that I liked. This new girl looks like Veronica Mars and Avril Lavigne's love child. And yes, she fights demons with PERFECT HAIR! *sigh* I hope that I am absolutely wrong and she turns out to be awesome.

I've always wanted a more realistic woman on the show. All the women, save for Ellen (and Ellen was still fucking gorgeous), were these pert little archetypal things. I want a mystery woman. I want a woman who drinks beer and belches and would rather sit at home and watch old westerns on TV than go out clubbing or bar hopping. Or a woman who has jeans that don't really fit anymore (because christmas turkey is too tempting), so she just leaves the top button unbuttoned and the fly unzipped so you can see her beige FULL-ASSED UNDERPANTS (no fucking thongs or g-strings).

This post made me really happy.

So not a betrayal to say the show has issues with women. (And minorities, actually, but we won't go into that.) If I didn't love the show to death and think Kripke could do better, I wouldn't even TRY. I wouldn't expect better writing. I wouldn't be cranky because they can obviously write fully-rounded, wonderful characters, it's just a matter of shifting the chromosomes.

I've always wanted a more realistic woman on the show. All the women, save for Ellen (and Ellen was still fucking gorgeous), were these pert little archetypal things. I want a mystery woman. I want a woman who drinks beer and belches and would rather sit at home and watch old westerns on TV than go out clubbing or bar hopping. Or a woman who has jeans that don't really fit anymore (because christmas turkey is too tempting), so she just leaves the top button unbuttoned and the fly unzipped so you can see her beige FULL-ASSED UNDERPANTS (no fucking thongs or g-strings).
!!!!

That, that right there is GLEE. Her underwear showing and her readjusting her tits because they ran from the monsters and now her cups overfloweth. YES. And the belching! Dean needs to hook up with a girl he can have belching contests with, God damn it.

I think a lot of it has to do with how we see people paired. It is totally ok for a phsyically stunning woman to get it on with what is considered to be a convetionally unattractive man. Because he's funny or he has a great personality or blah blah blah.

But hot men? CAN ONLY BE PAIRED WITH HOT WOMEN. I can't remember the last time I saw a really hot male character paired with a "chubby" or conventionally unattractive female character. It was probably on the show Popular, which I watched a couple episodes of. And even then, the female character, while by hollywood standard would DEFINTIELY be considered a "fat" character, was still really pretty in my mind (it was Sara Rue). But yeah. It never happens and when it DOES? People are like "OMG! WHAT THE HELL?" like it's some sort of sacrilege. *sigh*

I want stretch marks and flaky skin. I want a woman that likes DOUBLE MEAT on her subs and gets horrifically insulted when people offer her LIGHT beer. Or that sniffs her underwear to make sure they're clean and has two-in-one shampoo/conditioner and who owns one lipstick and tube of mascara.

The thing is... although Dean seems to go for the pretty ones on the show, I can totally see him hooking up with some really unkempt, bulky female hunter who likes Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin. She'd have a huge belt buckle (which for some reason would intimidate him) and a layer of dirt under her fingernails. They'd do it in the back of her rusted Camaro and afterwards she'd eat dill pickle chips from a HUGE bag and sip from a half-full can of flat gingerale.

She totally wouldn't offer him any.

This is seriously my favourite thing this week. Oh man. I love love love female characters (which is why I mainly write het) and Eee... I like people that enjoy them too.

You know, all this, plus I just re-watched Hunted, and suddenly I am all *lightbulb* "OMG! Ellen has a thing for Sam!"

Seriously, the way she said his name when he called to ask her about Gordon! She was so totally flirting with him!!!

... so you can see her beige FULL-ASSED UNDERPANTS (no fucking thongs or g-strings).

As someone who has a very physical career let me just say that it takes supportive underwear to get crap done! You can't be bothered with butt floss. Some people swear by it, but geez it's freakin' distracting! Let active people wear sensible underwear for gods sake.

Does Dean wear a man-kini? No. Why? Because there are other more important things he needs to focus on... like killing the six headed, fire breathing, baby eating monster in front of him. Let the girls have the same common sense.

(And to those of you who swear by thongs. More power to you!)

You can't be bothered with butt floss. Some people swear by it, but geez it's freakin' distracting! Let active people wear sensible underwear for gods sake.

Dude, totally. I admit I wear low-rise stuff ('cause the only jeans that actually FIT me are low rise, and no one needs to be seeing my underwear over the waistband of my jeans ALL THE TIME[1]) but they'd damn well better be comfy and not all sweaty and riding up.

[1]- Note to the people in the world wearing skinny jeans that they can't actually pull up over their asses so basically ALL of their underwear is hanging out? You are not cute. I do not want to see if your boxers have frogs on them. Sags did not look good when they were saggy, they do not look good now that they look spray-painted on below your knees.

Oh I wear the low-rise stuff too, but I always do the "sit test" before buying it. If I sit down and my ass is showing in any way, I don't buy the jeans. I can tolerate a slip of undie waistband every once in awhile, but plumber's cracks look good on NO ONE.

And this is purely my opinion and kinda off topic but I abhore the skinny jean style. It really does nothing to flatter anyone. If you're skinny, you look anerexic. If you've had a sandwich or two in your past, then you look huge. No one wins with skinny jeans.