Every few years I go through a major depressive episode when I have the terrifying realization that all my hard work will probably deny me benefits without paying for my medical costs. I'm looking at medical costs that will demand a salary of six figures and I'll be out benefits long before I've made half that. And why don't they want me working. I could at least pay back a percentage of what they will be paying into me. I don't want to do nothing with my life, but how can I afford to work?