ext_26567 ([identity profile] temima.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] nilchance 2008-05-28 02:03 pm (UTC)

this made me think of my own worries

I really wonder how I'll manage if I lose my job. I hate it, but I hate going up to organizations and telling them "I have nothing to contribute to society". I hate people questioning my honesty. I hate moving in with my mom.

Yet, I do not have any obvious problems. In the right crowd, in the right job, I might seem quirky. However, I do not have the skills for a 'right job' and live too far away from the right crowd.

I have had people suggest I disclose what is happening, that it's been diagnosed when I was a kid and not just some "I saw this thing on the Internet about this disorder and I think I have it" (not to diss the self-diagnosed, just that people tend not to take it seriously, despite understanding about the autistic spectrum just ballooning, and adult ADD not far behind). However, I am honestly scared that I will be seen as unrepairable. Broken, well, sometimes, I am. But I want to scream "I am not useless, just not you."

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